Austrailian comment on "very nearly complete".
"I think the war is very complete, pretty much."
That's what he said. That is a direct quote from the President of the United States. Read it again. Let it wash over you like a wave of warm fucking stupidity.
"I think the war is very complete, pretty much."
That's not how a Commander in Chief speaks. That's how a toddler describes a jigsaw puzzle he got bored of. "I think it's very complete, pretty much." There are still pieces missing, the dog ate a corner, and half of it's the wrong puzzle, but yeah, pretty much.
You THINK? You THINK the war is complete? You're the bloke who started it! You should fucking KNOW! What do you mean you THINK? I THINK I turned the oven off. I THINK I locked the car. You don't get to THINK about whether a war you launched is finished. Either it is or it isn't, and the Strait of Hormuz is still closed, oil is still through the roof, and there are still carrier groups in the Persian Gulf, so I'm going to go ahead and suggest it's fucking NOT.
And "very complete." What does VERY complete mean? Is that more complete than regular complete? Is there a scale? Is this like a doneness chart at a steakhouse? "How would you like your war, sir?" "Very complete, pretty much. Maybe a little pink in the middle."
Pretty much. PRETTY MUCH. That's doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence, isn't it? Pretty much is the linguistic equivalent of duct tape over a crack in a dam. Pretty much means "not actually but I'd really like to stop talking about this now." I pretty much passed the exam. I pretty much remembered our anniversary. I pretty much didn't cause an irreversible geopolitical catastrophe in the Persian Gulf.
You know what you've very completely, pretty much, accomplished?
You've pretty much completed the single greatest transfer of American credibility into a flaming fucking dumpster since the last time you opened your mouth.
You've pretty much completed turning the Strait of Hormuz into the world's most expensive parking lot. Twenty percent of global oil supply, just sitting there going absolutely fucking nowhere while every truckie in Australia is paying four dollars a litre to drive to work. Pretty much nailed that one.
You've pretty much completed making Iran's drone program the best return on investment in military history. Twenty thousand dollar drones chewing through four million dollar Patriot missiles like Pac-Man on a meth binge. You've burned through more interceptors in three weeks than the entire US stockpile was supposed to last in a major conflict. Very complete work there, champ.
You've pretty much completed handing China and Russia the greatest strategic gift since the fall of the Berlin Wall. While you're playing Call of Duty in the Persian Gulf, Xi Jinping is signing trade deals across Southeast Asia with a grin so wide you could park an aircraft carrier in it. Putin's watching oil prices skyrocket and funding his entire Ukraine operation on the back of YOUR stupidity. You've pretty much completed their five year plan in three weeks.
You've pretty much completed the radicalisation of an entire generation of young Iranians who were, by the way, some of the most pro-Western people in the Middle East. They were protesting their own government two years ago. Now they're pulling their classmates out of rubble. A hundred and seventy schoolgirls. Children. In a school. And Pete Hegseth's up at a podium saying "collateral damage is a reality of war" like he's reading the specials board at a fucking Applebee's.
You've pretty much completed eight flag-draped coffins coming home to families who will never be the same. Eight soldiers who signed up to defend their country and got sent to die for a conflict with no objective, no exit strategy, no plan, and no fucking point.
You've pretty much completed the collapse of the petrodollar consensus. The Saudis are openly hedging. The Emiratis are quietly shifting into yuan-denominated assets. Took generations to build that system. You demolished it for a photo op.
You haven't COMPLETED shit. You've STARTED things that will take decades to unfuck. You've started an energy crisis. You've started an arms race in the Gulf. You've started the realignment of global alliances away from the West. You've started the recruitment pipeline for the next generation of extremists who watched their sisters get crushed under concrete.
That's not completion. That's arson. You lit the fire, realised you couldn't control it, and now you're standing in front of the smoking wreckage going "I think it's very complete, pretty much."
And his advisers know it. They fucking know it. That's why they're in meltdown. The generals, the diplomats, the intelligence community, they're all staring at the same spreadsheet and every single column says the same thing: net negative. Geopolitical standing, down. Energy security, down. Military readiness, down. Allied confidence, down. Enemy capability, up. Recruitment, up. Global instability, up.
But sure. Very complete. Pretty much. Go have a Diet Coke and a round of golf, you fucking muppet. The adults will be along shortly to assess the damage.
~Gman
That's what he said. That is a direct quote from the President of the United States. Read it again. Let it wash over you like a wave of warm fucking stupidity.
"I think the war is very complete, pretty much."
That's not how a Commander in Chief speaks. That's how a toddler describes a jigsaw puzzle he got bored of. "I think it's very complete, pretty much." There are still pieces missing, the dog ate a corner, and half of it's the wrong puzzle, but yeah, pretty much.
You THINK? You THINK the war is complete? You're the bloke who started it! You should fucking KNOW! What do you mean you THINK? I THINK I turned the oven off. I THINK I locked the car. You don't get to THINK about whether a war you launched is finished. Either it is or it isn't, and the Strait of Hormuz is still closed, oil is still through the roof, and there are still carrier groups in the Persian Gulf, so I'm going to go ahead and suggest it's fucking NOT.
And "very complete." What does VERY complete mean? Is that more complete than regular complete? Is there a scale? Is this like a doneness chart at a steakhouse? "How would you like your war, sir?" "Very complete, pretty much. Maybe a little pink in the middle."
Pretty much. PRETTY MUCH. That's doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence, isn't it? Pretty much is the linguistic equivalent of duct tape over a crack in a dam. Pretty much means "not actually but I'd really like to stop talking about this now." I pretty much passed the exam. I pretty much remembered our anniversary. I pretty much didn't cause an irreversible geopolitical catastrophe in the Persian Gulf.
You know what you've very completely, pretty much, accomplished?
You've pretty much completed the single greatest transfer of American credibility into a flaming fucking dumpster since the last time you opened your mouth.
You've pretty much completed turning the Strait of Hormuz into the world's most expensive parking lot. Twenty percent of global oil supply, just sitting there going absolutely fucking nowhere while every truckie in Australia is paying four dollars a litre to drive to work. Pretty much nailed that one.
You've pretty much completed making Iran's drone program the best return on investment in military history. Twenty thousand dollar drones chewing through four million dollar Patriot missiles like Pac-Man on a meth binge. You've burned through more interceptors in three weeks than the entire US stockpile was supposed to last in a major conflict. Very complete work there, champ.
You've pretty much completed handing China and Russia the greatest strategic gift since the fall of the Berlin Wall. While you're playing Call of Duty in the Persian Gulf, Xi Jinping is signing trade deals across Southeast Asia with a grin so wide you could park an aircraft carrier in it. Putin's watching oil prices skyrocket and funding his entire Ukraine operation on the back of YOUR stupidity. You've pretty much completed their five year plan in three weeks.
You've pretty much completed the radicalisation of an entire generation of young Iranians who were, by the way, some of the most pro-Western people in the Middle East. They were protesting their own government two years ago. Now they're pulling their classmates out of rubble. A hundred and seventy schoolgirls. Children. In a school. And Pete Hegseth's up at a podium saying "collateral damage is a reality of war" like he's reading the specials board at a fucking Applebee's.
You've pretty much completed eight flag-draped coffins coming home to families who will never be the same. Eight soldiers who signed up to defend their country and got sent to die for a conflict with no objective, no exit strategy, no plan, and no fucking point.
You've pretty much completed the collapse of the petrodollar consensus. The Saudis are openly hedging. The Emiratis are quietly shifting into yuan-denominated assets. Took generations to build that system. You demolished it for a photo op.
You haven't COMPLETED shit. You've STARTED things that will take decades to unfuck. You've started an energy crisis. You've started an arms race in the Gulf. You've started the realignment of global alliances away from the West. You've started the recruitment pipeline for the next generation of extremists who watched their sisters get crushed under concrete.
That's not completion. That's arson. You lit the fire, realised you couldn't control it, and now you're standing in front of the smoking wreckage going "I think it's very complete, pretty much."
And his advisers know it. They fucking know it. That's why they're in meltdown. The generals, the diplomats, the intelligence community, they're all staring at the same spreadsheet and every single column says the same thing: net negative. Geopolitical standing, down. Energy security, down. Military readiness, down. Allied confidence, down. Enemy capability, up. Recruitment, up. Global instability, up.
But sure. Very complete. Pretty much. Go have a Diet Coke and a round of golf, you fucking muppet. The adults will be along shortly to assess the damage.
~Gman
61-69, M