The House Committee Investigation Into The Miami Concert At Dinner Keys Auditorium

“So Miss Clump… if we can return to the events of March 1969…and l must remind you that you are still under oath, are you able to tell this Committee in your own words, exactly what you saw that evening?

“I arrived at the auditorium around ten o’clock and I immediately noticed a group of men on stage some distance away…there were two men standing up that I could see…two other men were sitting down behind some musical instruments…one of the standing men appeared to be holding something up to his mouth..the other was moving his head around…like he was checking the place out…”

“At the time of the incident there was some a kind of a commotion…that l am simply unable to describe…a flash of skin, a movement of clothing…that led me to believe something extraordinary had just happened inside the auditorium.”

“Alright…so returning to your original deposition, you stated you were once a member of The Church of the Wayfaring Stranger….followers of a Californian rock n roll band called The Doors, under the leadership of James Douglas Morrison…also known as ‘The Lizard King”?

“I..l never knew no Lizard King…l have my own family Mr Chairman”.

“Miss Clump we have a sworn statement…we have it, that you witnessed a simulated act of oral copulation…performed by James Douglas Morrison….are you now retracting your statement, and do you understand what is going to happen as a result of it?!”

“Well you see Mr Chairman…the DA offered me a deal…so l made up a lot of stuff about James Douglas Morrison….but it was all lies…all of it!”

“They said…aaah James Douglas Morrison screamed out this and aaah James Douglas Morrison whipped out that…so l said, ‘yeah…sure why not’…”