Why did all of that happen?

My intentions were pure and the devil muddied them up. I've tasted Heaven and hell all at once! But why? Because I didn't want to lose him like I was about to lose my other best friend who moved away? It started before that when back in 2010 when I heard the first choir of Angels sing. What was his connection to all of it loving my husband as I ought and wishing I had a relationship with them like he did and one of my sons! They seemed to enjoy each other's company and I too wanted that. When I had the intrusive fantasies I begged God to forgive me for each and everyone of them, and when I was called out for having romantic feelings for him I felt so bad I wound up in hell. Which only made things worse. I thought if I just stood by his side that I could weather the storm until we were out of the woods and in the clear again and resume being friendly. But even though he said that he would stay he tried everything in his power to push me away, my heart grew faint...But I thought it would make me stronger, not so. In the end the devil put the final nail in my coffin and caused me to sin...Even though it had nothing to do with him and was demon possession that forced me to sin in my weakest state while I was really really tired and half asleep. The final nail sealed my coffin...But God showed me and I knew this that Jesus is the great physician and He was the healer of all of those people, and then some to this day...It was Jesus whom I truly loved with a true love when that guy broke my heart. I had to make peace with God and peace with myself and forgive forgive forgive until it didn't hurt no more.......And yes I do forgive him, and even after all of these years I still love the memory of him, no matter how rude and crude he was....I am no prize by any mans standard but I am a soul who can hear Heavenly Angels singing and to God I am His Trophy! I may never know why the big guns were pulled out and used against me during that time in my life.....Probably because I wanted on Earth what would have been done in Heaven, pure intentions and it made the devil mad and he perverted everything and destroyed a good thing. That's why.