I Love You Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ I Love You Yes I Do

I'm not a believer actually but I feel like some aspects about Christianity really speak to me. Not precisely in a good way but they deeply do. Until I was like 8 y/o or something like that I used to pray every night, and I used to believe that the Holy Spirit would wash away my blame if I harmed myself. Now it's nothing like that, actually I'm the opposite in some aspects, but I think I still have kind of a Christian background on my mindset. And again, it is always bad for me and my mental health.