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What do you guys think of my hypothesis regarding how Christianity was created? [I Hate Christianity]

Okay, so let's assume for the moment Jesus, or more accurately Yeshua bar-Yosef, was a real person. Didn't like how the scribes and Pharisees acted, and felt the Jews could stand to be less legalistic and more considerate. He also didn't care for Roman occupation of his home country.

He organized the 12 as his co-conspirators. He even took Judas aside and told him to betray him to the authorities. Why? Because he had a plan.

Think about the Biblical descriptions of the crucifixion. An unnamed person brought him "wine" in a sponge on a stick, which he drank before "dying". What are the odds that anonymous person didn't drug him in front of God and everybody, rendering him unconscious? And then we have the super accurate Roman method of checking to see if he's dead. Poke him in the side with a stick. And notice the Bible doesn't say "left side". It just says "side", which the ol' King James Bible always uses to mean "right side". The Bible then says that blood and "water" came out. Kind of what would happen if a living person were stabbed in the kidney. Kind of EXACTLY what would happen.

And then what? After they took him down, his good buddy Joseph of Arimathea shows up with bitter herbs and covers the body with them. Herbs like aloe and myrrh, which are known for their ability to draw infection out of a wound. Then he takes the "dead" Yeshua to a cool, dry tomb, where he would be undisturbed. He wouldn't be able to eat or drink, but come early Sunday morning, he could probably walk again.


Thoughts?
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
I guess it kind of shows how little history you know. Just an FYI the wine vinegar they offered Jesus was a common practice at crucifixion's. A crucified person can live for several days and when they said they were thirsty they were given gall to drink. Just one more torture among others.
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
[@1201381,ShadowfireTheSarcastic] Why would they bribe the guard? Pretty hard to fake death when the blood has separated as shown by the spear in the side. Jesus was fully dead when his body came down from the cross.
[@10033,hippyjoe1955] Again, stab a man in the kidney, and you get blood and "water" (urine, really), but only if he is alive.
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
[@1201381,ShadowfireTheSarcastic] No the kidney doesn't store urine.
Sharon · F
No less believeable than most of the crap christian zealots come up with.
Adstar · 51-55, M
I think your thoughts are thoughts that a person who wants to reject the Messiah Jesus would come up with to help them try and justify their rejection of the LORD Jesus..
[@1086573,Adstar] If I was trying to reject him, I would simply ask you for evidence that he ever existed.
Adstar · 51-55, M
[@1201381,ShadowfireTheSarcastic] There is no evidence that He never existed.. And that sounds pretty illogical.. Asking a Christian for evidence that Jesus never existed.. 🤣
[@1086573,Adstar] Whoops. Typo. Fixing.
Asificair · M
It's as plausible as anything else.
Asificair · M
Well, much more plausible than anything else tbh.
Baremine · 70-79, C
You need to accept the truth and not doctor it up.
Sharon · F
[@836034,Baremine] [quote]You need to accept the truth and not doctor it up.
[/quote]
Seems to me that he does accept it.

 
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