New life. New devotion. Part of my personal journey with God.
Since escaping the claws of enslavement and a counterfeit love that I had (separate situations), unknowingly, idolized and served...I found everything I was looking for. A lot like volcanic rock being shaped and purified into diamonds, so has my soul during this detour. On one hand, my own flaws lead me down that road that if I was any wiser wouldn't have gone there. But I still wouldn't trade that suffering for anything less, in fact, I'm actually happy I experienced it and made it out spiritually stronger.
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("Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:1-5.)
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I was never alone throughout all of it either nor will I pretend saying "I was lucky" for the sake of not being judged by the world as being delusional for holding on to faith. My post isn't for hate. It's a reminder for those that need it, or are currently struggling, and really celebrating God for being merciful with us. Anyways, the two years I spent away from my family was a revelation to being spiritually unbreakable, more closer in my relationship with God, preparing for the next chapter that is now, and receiving spiritual gifts!
Being betrayed, degraded to a personal slave, and losing so much on my way turned to complete reliance towards Jesus. It brought me closer and saved me from imminent doom if I had stayed...even possible death. Also, my blind chase of a desire that I thought was best for me was not. I learned that it was a counterfeit love that I was serving for in place of receiving love from God. I idolized it. I chased it at my own expense. It lead me to a life of complete loss and restlessness. The moment I shut God away, I got exactly what I wanted...and it became traumatic.
When I had enough, I gave it to God. I gave up everything, I let go and gave Him control of my life, and what I found was everything I needed. I found a love so satisfying, joy for what I already have, and peace. Real peace where anxiety about everything going on couldn't take that away from me. This reconnection is like finally drinking an iced glass of sweet tea after working in triple digit heat, but a thousand times better. My understanding expands the more I pray and listen and fill my heart and mind with God...to where I can commit to my devotion of living my life in service to the Lord. He's gifted me with singledom so that I may be of bigger service to Him without being drawn astray by idolizing someone else. And I accept it wholeheartedly with joy and peace because there's no greater love that could satisfy me.
I am not lonely. I'm not attracted to anyone nor do I have that interest. It actually is a huge breath of relief for me to come to this point when the world is so focused finding the love of your life, getting married, having kids, and so on. I'm not pressured to be what's considered the "norm". It's peaceful and I'm fulfilled by God alone, I don't have to seek anything other than Him. He gives me freedom and peace by his love. That's all I could ask for.
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("I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” 1 Corinthians 7:7-9)
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Of course, my life wouldn't be for everyone and that's okay. It's stated above that there's nothing wrong for either path. I'm just glorifying the life that was chosen for me, is truly in my best interest no matter how "strange" it may appear for anyone else. I'm at peace with it.
If you read to the end. Thank you. Stay blessed.
[i][c=BF0000]
("Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:1-5.)
[/c][/i]
I was never alone throughout all of it either nor will I pretend saying "I was lucky" for the sake of not being judged by the world as being delusional for holding on to faith. My post isn't for hate. It's a reminder for those that need it, or are currently struggling, and really celebrating God for being merciful with us. Anyways, the two years I spent away from my family was a revelation to being spiritually unbreakable, more closer in my relationship with God, preparing for the next chapter that is now, and receiving spiritual gifts!
Being betrayed, degraded to a personal slave, and losing so much on my way turned to complete reliance towards Jesus. It brought me closer and saved me from imminent doom if I had stayed...even possible death. Also, my blind chase of a desire that I thought was best for me was not. I learned that it was a counterfeit love that I was serving for in place of receiving love from God. I idolized it. I chased it at my own expense. It lead me to a life of complete loss and restlessness. The moment I shut God away, I got exactly what I wanted...and it became traumatic.
When I had enough, I gave it to God. I gave up everything, I let go and gave Him control of my life, and what I found was everything I needed. I found a love so satisfying, joy for what I already have, and peace. Real peace where anxiety about everything going on couldn't take that away from me. This reconnection is like finally drinking an iced glass of sweet tea after working in triple digit heat, but a thousand times better. My understanding expands the more I pray and listen and fill my heart and mind with God...to where I can commit to my devotion of living my life in service to the Lord. He's gifted me with singledom so that I may be of bigger service to Him without being drawn astray by idolizing someone else. And I accept it wholeheartedly with joy and peace because there's no greater love that could satisfy me.
I am not lonely. I'm not attracted to anyone nor do I have that interest. It actually is a huge breath of relief for me to come to this point when the world is so focused finding the love of your life, getting married, having kids, and so on. I'm not pressured to be what's considered the "norm". It's peaceful and I'm fulfilled by God alone, I don't have to seek anything other than Him. He gives me freedom and peace by his love. That's all I could ask for.
[i][c=BF0000]
("I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” 1 Corinthians 7:7-9)
[/c][/i]
Of course, my life wouldn't be for everyone and that's okay. It's stated above that there's nothing wrong for either path. I'm just glorifying the life that was chosen for me, is truly in my best interest no matter how "strange" it may appear for anyone else. I'm at peace with it.
If you read to the end. Thank you. Stay blessed.
26-30, F
