I A Christian Who Lover Jesus Christ With All My Heart
Why did you do that?
My mom took me and both my sisters to church. I learned the bible stories and I believed as a child believes. Mom prayed with us each evening and that was part of my life too, the short prayer of thanks over food. My dad hardly ever prayed.
When I was about 13 or 14, I started to doubt, I could no longer believe as a child, my childhood faith was leaving me. That was a difficult time. I had so many questions. If there is no God, then what about life and dying, what if there is no life after death? Would I live 70 or 80 years and then all ends, just nothing, blackness forever? That thought was horrible!! I was afraid of dying. At the young age of 14.
Dear God, if you really exist, show me, I want to believe. That was my prayer many times.
I did not attend church anymore. I did not go to the kids group.
I started to do bad things.
There was a factory near our house where sweets were produced (marcipan, if you know). I discovered that the delivery trucks on the parking lot behind the large factory were not locked. So I took packages out of the vans and trucks and sold that stuff at school. Over a period of weeks. I even had a friend come with me and steal with me. I told my friends and classmates, that my aunt worked there and I get it cheap. I made money. I wanted money. I saved the money. I tried to break open cigarette vending machines, I tried to steal a brand-new car from a train...
My parents had a horticulture business and three times a week my dad sold stuff on a farmers market. As kids we had the job to count the money, make piles of coins etc. etc. I thought it fair to pay myself for the work I had to do, I stole money from my parents and thought it was right.
And I searched for God and for faith.
One day I must have bragged a bit about the money I had before my sister and her friend. My mom saw it. Later that day she talked to me and asked me how come I have so much money. I could not lie to her. So I told her the truth. I still see my mom sitting there with me, crying and asking me „Why did you do that?“ I was not able to give her an answer, as much as I wanted to.
I had to give my parents my money.
That evening when I went to bed and was about to say my evening prayer, I realized all in a sudden: Jesus has protected me all the time and He made an end to all of that, so that I did not end up in jail. I asked him for forgiveness right there and gave him my heart and life.
From that moment I believed.
And I never again had a fear of dying.
My mom took me and both my sisters to church. I learned the bible stories and I believed as a child believes. Mom prayed with us each evening and that was part of my life too, the short prayer of thanks over food. My dad hardly ever prayed.
When I was about 13 or 14, I started to doubt, I could no longer believe as a child, my childhood faith was leaving me. That was a difficult time. I had so many questions. If there is no God, then what about life and dying, what if there is no life after death? Would I live 70 or 80 years and then all ends, just nothing, blackness forever? That thought was horrible!! I was afraid of dying. At the young age of 14.
Dear God, if you really exist, show me, I want to believe. That was my prayer many times.
I did not attend church anymore. I did not go to the kids group.
I started to do bad things.
There was a factory near our house where sweets were produced (marcipan, if you know). I discovered that the delivery trucks on the parking lot behind the large factory were not locked. So I took packages out of the vans and trucks and sold that stuff at school. Over a period of weeks. I even had a friend come with me and steal with me. I told my friends and classmates, that my aunt worked there and I get it cheap. I made money. I wanted money. I saved the money. I tried to break open cigarette vending machines, I tried to steal a brand-new car from a train...
My parents had a horticulture business and three times a week my dad sold stuff on a farmers market. As kids we had the job to count the money, make piles of coins etc. etc. I thought it fair to pay myself for the work I had to do, I stole money from my parents and thought it was right.
And I searched for God and for faith.
One day I must have bragged a bit about the money I had before my sister and her friend. My mom saw it. Later that day she talked to me and asked me how come I have so much money. I could not lie to her. So I told her the truth. I still see my mom sitting there with me, crying and asking me „Why did you do that?“ I was not able to give her an answer, as much as I wanted to.
I had to give my parents my money.
That evening when I went to bed and was about to say my evening prayer, I realized all in a sudden: Jesus has protected me all the time and He made an end to all of that, so that I did not end up in jail. I asked him for forgiveness right there and gave him my heart and life.
From that moment I believed.
And I never again had a fear of dying.
