My faith is a comfort to me

My boyfriend passed away last year and for a long time I was angry at God. I hardened my heart, I rebelled one minute and tried to pray the next. My prayers felt empty and I just wasn't allowing in the comfort his love can bring. A few days ago I remembered something a friend once said to me 'you cannot serve two masters' and it got me thinking. Was my connection to God stifled because I was sinning was I allowing satan in. I decided I was allowing myself to be led astray for sure. I searched youtube for prayers to remove demonic influence on my life because I didn't know what to say and prayed one. Then I added my own personal prayer. I came across a suggestion to sleep with a bible under your pillow. I have had past history of demonic attacks at night. Where I literally felt a demon on top of me. It hadn't happened for a few years. But I reasoned could I be sleeping through something. So I placed my thinner new testament under my pillow. During the day I felt different somehow lighter. By the morning I felt even better and I had no desire to continue with my bad habits. I started to read my bible and pray again and feel the Lords peace. I feel so much better and my faith is a comfort to me.