Dear Lord I don't know if I should dare to post this....

My heart is sick, there is something inside of me pulling me into the darkness as interesting when I know it's NOT!! Lord I am pleading with you do surgery on my heart and ideas take this idea, or hearts desire or entertainment or funny out of me please I love you and you alone, don't let me look at the enemy and think oh that's cool, and interesting entertaining or funny when it is scary sick, evil decieving and wrong! Lord I don't know why I am like this. Why I'm being pulled both ways, I don't want to let you down, You are Ineresting, you are beautiful, you are intriguing, you are amazing, you are everything that suits my true desires, and I love love love you and worship you, for all you've done for me! I am so sorry Lord Please forgive me amen.