My three-year journey with Jesus and Mary 3/3
My experiences with praying the Holy Rosary, praying to God, observing the Ten Commandments and going to the confessional and spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 7/8
In Amsterdam:
A few days before the trip, the voices in my head told me that by praying the Holy Rosary I had surrendered everything of my soul to them, and that in the next life I would be in a wheelchair and without hands, praising Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary everywhere.
Every day I have only nightmares and dull dreams in which there is nothing left at all, every day voices tell me that thanks to me, how I have to be clean and send light by prayer and be on the street, that they are eight hours a day in huge states of ecstasy, while Every night, when I wake up several times a night, I only have a few seconds of memory of the nightmare I experienced.
..
Every day they tell me that I was a sinner, and a bad person and a thief and who knows what else, while every day I watch on TV politicians who give away hundreds of billions a year, no one has ever twisted a hair in their life, I watch people who drink wine every day for example twenty years old, they smoke marijuana every day or have been on meth for fifteen years, none of them have ever told me that they have any mental disorders or hallucinations or bad dreams.
..
The worst people I know spend their whole lives waiting for social benefits or selling drugs and doing various crimes, none of them had the slightest problem in their lives and they "celebrate" all their lives
....
In Holland, someone gave me a business card the next day but I couldn't call them, every day I had the biggest obsessive tantrum I've ever had, they looked at me very badly at the charity for taking bread, they threw plates and cookies over my nose , and once I had a conflict in an Alberta store with some Muslim types, where the police came and then they banned me from entering ...
I stayed there for about 17 days and went back to the Czech Republic.
....
My experiences with praying the Holy Rosary, praying to God, observing the Ten Commandments and going to the confessional and spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ.8/8
Back in the Czech Republic:
Nothing here anymore, I'm sleeping outside in the winter, tired as I've never been in my life, I have to go to charities, voices tell me that I'm superficial and that I have to apologize, at the same time they show me satanists on the internet and how many children and people they've killed with proof , they tell me how much money Jesus gives them and that I will die soon.
...
Every day they tell me that I'm a sinner, that I have to apologize to Jesus for being bad, that it's my hell and God and people are taking revenge on me, that I shouldn't complain that I lost something because more than once he sent me something (for example, I prayed that I would meet a nice woman and good people, and then old grandmothers kept talking to me, and sometimes some junkies and homeless people asked me if I wanted something or if I would give them change)
..
Every day I only have nightmares, I've been praying to Jesus and Mary and the litany to the angels for 7000 hours, I've been to the confessional at least 50 times and I've poured my whole life out there five times in a row, I don't even have any sins, and I'm a homeless person who he has to help people, he goes to charities for food, he lost everything I had saved and lost my job and apartment and social benefits and I can't borrow from anyone anymore.
I'm as tired as I've ever been, 6-10 months ago I was almost a professional athlete lifting heavy weights and working out every day. Now I can barely walk, and every day voices shout nonsense at me that I'm a thief and a liar, and that's why everyone around me has a hundred times better life and I have nothing at all and I just had to hide at home for years.
The more I pray in the forest on earth to cast out the demons, the more they attack me.
....
This whole experience cost me 100 thousand that I had saved here, another similar amount that I earned at work to have rent and time for prayer, and other money that I could have earned if I had not left the Czech Republic because of all those manipulations.
Almost never once did my prayer come true, I'm sick and devastated more than ever, I have nightmares every day, I'm homeless, I have a lot more voices yelling at me that I have to apologize to Jesus. That I am a sinner, and I am absolutely tired and without energy.
And every day I have to keep rewriting the inserted dirty words that someone inserts for me.
In Amsterdam:
A few days before the trip, the voices in my head told me that by praying the Holy Rosary I had surrendered everything of my soul to them, and that in the next life I would be in a wheelchair and without hands, praising Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary everywhere.
Every day I have only nightmares and dull dreams in which there is nothing left at all, every day voices tell me that thanks to me, how I have to be clean and send light by prayer and be on the street, that they are eight hours a day in huge states of ecstasy, while Every night, when I wake up several times a night, I only have a few seconds of memory of the nightmare I experienced.
..
Every day they tell me that I was a sinner, and a bad person and a thief and who knows what else, while every day I watch on TV politicians who give away hundreds of billions a year, no one has ever twisted a hair in their life, I watch people who drink wine every day for example twenty years old, they smoke marijuana every day or have been on meth for fifteen years, none of them have ever told me that they have any mental disorders or hallucinations or bad dreams.
..
The worst people I know spend their whole lives waiting for social benefits or selling drugs and doing various crimes, none of them had the slightest problem in their lives and they "celebrate" all their lives
....
In Holland, someone gave me a business card the next day but I couldn't call them, every day I had the biggest obsessive tantrum I've ever had, they looked at me very badly at the charity for taking bread, they threw plates and cookies over my nose , and once I had a conflict in an Alberta store with some Muslim types, where the police came and then they banned me from entering ...
I stayed there for about 17 days and went back to the Czech Republic.
....
My experiences with praying the Holy Rosary, praying to God, observing the Ten Commandments and going to the confessional and spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ.8/8
Back in the Czech Republic:
Nothing here anymore, I'm sleeping outside in the winter, tired as I've never been in my life, I have to go to charities, voices tell me that I'm superficial and that I have to apologize, at the same time they show me satanists on the internet and how many children and people they've killed with proof , they tell me how much money Jesus gives them and that I will die soon.
...
Every day they tell me that I'm a sinner, that I have to apologize to Jesus for being bad, that it's my hell and God and people are taking revenge on me, that I shouldn't complain that I lost something because more than once he sent me something (for example, I prayed that I would meet a nice woman and good people, and then old grandmothers kept talking to me, and sometimes some junkies and homeless people asked me if I wanted something or if I would give them change)
..
Every day I only have nightmares, I've been praying to Jesus and Mary and the litany to the angels for 7000 hours, I've been to the confessional at least 50 times and I've poured my whole life out there five times in a row, I don't even have any sins, and I'm a homeless person who he has to help people, he goes to charities for food, he lost everything I had saved and lost my job and apartment and social benefits and I can't borrow from anyone anymore.
I'm as tired as I've ever been, 6-10 months ago I was almost a professional athlete lifting heavy weights and working out every day. Now I can barely walk, and every day voices shout nonsense at me that I'm a thief and a liar, and that's why everyone around me has a hundred times better life and I have nothing at all and I just had to hide at home for years.
The more I pray in the forest on earth to cast out the demons, the more they attack me.
....
This whole experience cost me 100 thousand that I had saved here, another similar amount that I earned at work to have rent and time for prayer, and other money that I could have earned if I had not left the Czech Republic because of all those manipulations.
Almost never once did my prayer come true, I'm sick and devastated more than ever, I have nightmares every day, I'm homeless, I have a lot more voices yelling at me that I have to apologize to Jesus. That I am a sinner, and I am absolutely tired and without energy.
And every day I have to keep rewriting the inserted dirty words that someone inserts for me.
51-55, F