I think of something that C S Lewis said, that while he recognised that objectively he was becoming better, subjectively he knew/saw himself as being worse. It is the paradox of transformation.
This also reveals the substance of Faith/Trust. That if that which is "good" is not of ourselves then it points to the actual nature of Reality, that is not of ourselves in the same sense.
"Praise be to God that I am not good"
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (NT)