I Am a Christian and I Love Jesus
I am a Christian and I love Jesus Christ.
I'm scared. God is not unjust. I am asking for lemon juice and he blesses me with Apple juice. There is no doubt that Apple Juice is way better than lemon juice. My mind is getting filled by twisted versions when I read the Bible. I am aware the seeds are being sown and I don't want it grown in my mind.
I read the story of Jacob. He was decieved and hence married to Leah. The Bible doesn't specify that she is a woman of bad character. It says she was weak and didn't have that good figure like her sister.
I am not judgemental or question the great forefathers etc because God found them righteous.
I just want to point out the intensity of feelings of rejection in this young lady Leah. How would one feel when my husband is going to marry another woman after the bridal week?
She craved for love. She craved it badly. It was evident from the way she named her children
Reuben - My hubby will love me more.
Simeon- My Lord heard my prayer because I am not loved.
Levi- At least now my hubby will love me.
The point I would like to make is she wanted LEMON JUICE - her husband loved her and God blessed her with ORANGE JUICE - immense strength and comfort to go through it..
Coming to Rachael , she perhaps didn't value this love as much Leah did. She exchanged her chance to sleep with her husband and here Leah goes with all joy and tells her man " I hired you with my son's mandrakes." In today's world , it means lack of self respect!
Coming to Rachael again, She started a race of Jealousy by giving her slave Bilah and Leah then gave her slave.
Coming to Rachael again, She stole the God's of her father and sat over it to protect herself. That was a pretty smart presence of mind.
The entire conversation boils down to this. What if I am Leah of 2017 ? I never had a boyfriend. It was always me liking people and they loved Rachael or expected God get them someone they thought was Rachael.... God comforted me , helps me sail through loneliness and rejections with a smile...
What if God thinks I am Haggar? Men mostly marry Sarah, the woman their mother gets. ( In Indian culture)
I feel like God loves some people more. For eg:- Both Issac and Abraham called their wives as sister. Tell me one thing, when they saw God's great mighty works, why can they not trust God's protection? Will someone be able to kill them when the sovereign Lord is for them?
Moreover the male is the head of the family. To protect his life, he can not put his wife in a situation where other men look at her inappropriately.
God intervened and handled the situation because he loved them..
What's my life? Who am I to God?
Problems come and he never abandons me.. He makes me stronger.. He chooses another girl and I wait patiently..
Will I be the chosen one whom he will blend unconditionally.. Leah Rachael Sarah Haggar and different stories can happen in modern day like a remix.. essence the same, situation different???
Lot selflessly told the people, you can have my two daughters instead of the guest in my house. I hate sacrificial love. I know how it feels when your father loves or respects others over you. I know he did the right thing. Now, Lot's daughter slept with her father. Do we understand the anxiety and depression that went behind that decision.
I am not judging what is right or wrong. I am only pointing out that sometimes pain is so inevitable. No preacher, No teacher of law sees this. What if I am one such irrelevant character?
I am scared. I don't want to be the rejected one who is comforted and filled with strength..I want to be the loved one. I know Rachael died earlier so Leah may have got a share of love..
But I want to be a Princess.. can God let me choose what I want to be filled with? He put patience Hope .. He rooted out anger and I can forgive easily...
I just want to be Sarah or Rachael and be filled with unconditional blessings..
I'm scared. God is not unjust. I am asking for lemon juice and he blesses me with Apple juice. There is no doubt that Apple Juice is way better than lemon juice. My mind is getting filled by twisted versions when I read the Bible. I am aware the seeds are being sown and I don't want it grown in my mind.
I read the story of Jacob. He was decieved and hence married to Leah. The Bible doesn't specify that she is a woman of bad character. It says she was weak and didn't have that good figure like her sister.
I am not judgemental or question the great forefathers etc because God found them righteous.
I just want to point out the intensity of feelings of rejection in this young lady Leah. How would one feel when my husband is going to marry another woman after the bridal week?
She craved for love. She craved it badly. It was evident from the way she named her children
Reuben - My hubby will love me more.
Simeon- My Lord heard my prayer because I am not loved.
Levi- At least now my hubby will love me.
The point I would like to make is she wanted LEMON JUICE - her husband loved her and God blessed her with ORANGE JUICE - immense strength and comfort to go through it..
Coming to Rachael , she perhaps didn't value this love as much Leah did. She exchanged her chance to sleep with her husband and here Leah goes with all joy and tells her man " I hired you with my son's mandrakes." In today's world , it means lack of self respect!
Coming to Rachael again, She started a race of Jealousy by giving her slave Bilah and Leah then gave her slave.
Coming to Rachael again, She stole the God's of her father and sat over it to protect herself. That was a pretty smart presence of mind.
The entire conversation boils down to this. What if I am Leah of 2017 ? I never had a boyfriend. It was always me liking people and they loved Rachael or expected God get them someone they thought was Rachael.... God comforted me , helps me sail through loneliness and rejections with a smile...
What if God thinks I am Haggar? Men mostly marry Sarah, the woman their mother gets. ( In Indian culture)
I feel like God loves some people more. For eg:- Both Issac and Abraham called their wives as sister. Tell me one thing, when they saw God's great mighty works, why can they not trust God's protection? Will someone be able to kill them when the sovereign Lord is for them?
Moreover the male is the head of the family. To protect his life, he can not put his wife in a situation where other men look at her inappropriately.
God intervened and handled the situation because he loved them..
What's my life? Who am I to God?
Problems come and he never abandons me.. He makes me stronger.. He chooses another girl and I wait patiently..
Will I be the chosen one whom he will blend unconditionally.. Leah Rachael Sarah Haggar and different stories can happen in modern day like a remix.. essence the same, situation different???
Lot selflessly told the people, you can have my two daughters instead of the guest in my house. I hate sacrificial love. I know how it feels when your father loves or respects others over you. I know he did the right thing. Now, Lot's daughter slept with her father. Do we understand the anxiety and depression that went behind that decision.
I am not judging what is right or wrong. I am only pointing out that sometimes pain is so inevitable. No preacher, No teacher of law sees this. What if I am one such irrelevant character?
I am scared. I don't want to be the rejected one who is comforted and filled with strength..I want to be the loved one. I know Rachael died earlier so Leah may have got a share of love..
But I want to be a Princess.. can God let me choose what I want to be filled with? He put patience Hope .. He rooted out anger and I can forgive easily...
I just want to be Sarah or Rachael and be filled with unconditional blessings..
36-40, F
