I Am A Christian But Im Not Perfect
What good is it to gain the whole world and to forefit your soul....You are the light of the world, a city built on a hill cannot be hidden....Godly sorrow brings forth repentance, and leaves no guilt, worldly sorrow brings forth death....God is watching over me, He see's the depths of my heart, and inspires movies of my life....God takes the weak things of the world to shame to strong, He takes the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and He takes the despised things and the things that are not, to nullify the things that are so that no man may boast in the SIGHT OF THE LORD.....The last time I had a fantasy, God Inspired a romantic movie of my life WITH MY FAMILY DOCTOR! let's just say it ended very badly....And now I'm scared to have a fantasy, even though GOD didn't do what I feared the most....He never showed the fantasy itself...But the traces of that kind of love colored my world.....So now what am I supposed to do with my heart and mind....Go on and love attractive men like brothers without a hint of romance, desire, impurity, NOTHING! Can I do that????????????? HONESTLY I DON'T THINK I'M CAPABLE..........Yes I do want to fight for a better world, yes I really do want to love attractive men like brothers and not be seduced by their handsome good looks, and I know that I can hold down that train of thought for up to a few years, but then one day when I'm bored, BOOM I'm no so pure after all and all hell breaks loose. And I dread that day...I know God isn't doing this to condemn me, but to save me, to fortify my faith in His forgiveness, and to purify my mind.....But it's a mighty strong hold to break, but it's something that I really must work on if I don't want to be possessed by the spirit of Jezebel ever again......I really struggle with this, all of the fear and doubt................Everyone says hey if it feels right just do it, but they never suffered the hell like I did.....Dear Lord, I lay down my dreams, I don't ever want to have another impure fantasy ever again...I want to love in purity, for who they are, I do not want to give the spirit of Jezebel another foothold, and I want to fight for a better world.
