How someone feels is their choice, not mine.
I'm not designed to care how you feel about what I think. It's not my job to control your feelings. By the way you seem to be neglectful of practicing controlling your own. That's not a dunk. Just an observation.
Sometimes you gotta listen to someone's words as if you were hearing them for the first time to actually understand the meaning behind them.
However when we feel love for others as most of us will at least in the warmer times and circumstances we do obligate ourselves to do what I call define my parameter.
My first one is that I acknowledge that no more than you can hear or see through my eyes and ears am I going to be likely to see through yours as well as you can. Two perceptions never align perfectly even when they're in agreement.
If you want to correct me I am willing to hear you make your case and take time later in respite while I'm alone to examine all I hear. It's unneeded or worse, unwise for you to demand my defend my position immediately upon hearing your complaints. I will not at any point now or in the future be held accountable for things I have no control over.
I will not be bullied into apologizing for being who I am or for speaking in what are observable facts in any given moment. If you can't manage your emotions sufficiently, hear accurately, see my actions factually or exercise factual consistent recall I am not someone who cares to rectify your disabilities or ruminate about that.
Asking or telling me about feelings is a waste of time for either of us since we are not a married couple and in my observation feelings displayed are at times deliberately at others unintentionally misleading. And quite frankly, other than that both of us probably resent someone else manipulating our feelings their concern about ours can be just as false and again life has taught me, fleeting. Besides this my feelings are really none of your business unless you're my souse, my therapist or my mom.
I'll thank you not to channel any of those.
I don't see the point in entertaining grudges, plotting revenge or mud wrestling since those things are for the weak. All doings affect future decisions and it's always important to me to limit any future knows. So is patience. I never slammed a phone, hung up without saying goodbye, or found it useful to gossip or give credence to same.
Arguments are stupid and unnecessary 98% of the time. If we are not arguing and you revisit closed communicative controversies do not think that you can elicit anything but a stern reminder of the above. If you pile adhominem attacks on top of that, I'll meet your ante and with poise and skill, raise the stakes to utterly collapse your self esteem. This does not negate my love for you but to teach you the lesson not to tamper with mine. You may have a serious problem of some sort but I'm no doctor. As a non doctor don't expect my tools to have the surgical precision of a Freudian expert.
The next time we meet expect a smile, a pleasant demeanor, and an aversion to digging in old dirt. Dirty looks or snide comments will only amuse me. If you make empty threats I will advice you not. When you say they are not but promises expect my full attention and future repercussions you only brought upon yourself.
Thanks. Have a wonderous day. And don't forget. Loving someone means you have patience with them but it never means we aren't obligated to ignore their dangerous flaws silently and not revile or rebuke them forever.
Sometimes you gotta listen to someone's words as if you were hearing them for the first time to actually understand the meaning behind them.
However when we feel love for others as most of us will at least in the warmer times and circumstances we do obligate ourselves to do what I call define my parameter.
My first one is that I acknowledge that no more than you can hear or see through my eyes and ears am I going to be likely to see through yours as well as you can. Two perceptions never align perfectly even when they're in agreement.
If you want to correct me I am willing to hear you make your case and take time later in respite while I'm alone to examine all I hear. It's unneeded or worse, unwise for you to demand my defend my position immediately upon hearing your complaints. I will not at any point now or in the future be held accountable for things I have no control over.
I will not be bullied into apologizing for being who I am or for speaking in what are observable facts in any given moment. If you can't manage your emotions sufficiently, hear accurately, see my actions factually or exercise factual consistent recall I am not someone who cares to rectify your disabilities or ruminate about that.
Asking or telling me about feelings is a waste of time for either of us since we are not a married couple and in my observation feelings displayed are at times deliberately at others unintentionally misleading. And quite frankly, other than that both of us probably resent someone else manipulating our feelings their concern about ours can be just as false and again life has taught me, fleeting. Besides this my feelings are really none of your business unless you're my souse, my therapist or my mom.
I'll thank you not to channel any of those.
I don't see the point in entertaining grudges, plotting revenge or mud wrestling since those things are for the weak. All doings affect future decisions and it's always important to me to limit any future knows. So is patience. I never slammed a phone, hung up without saying goodbye, or found it useful to gossip or give credence to same.
Arguments are stupid and unnecessary 98% of the time. If we are not arguing and you revisit closed communicative controversies do not think that you can elicit anything but a stern reminder of the above. If you pile adhominem attacks on top of that, I'll meet your ante and with poise and skill, raise the stakes to utterly collapse your self esteem. This does not negate my love for you but to teach you the lesson not to tamper with mine. You may have a serious problem of some sort but I'm no doctor. As a non doctor don't expect my tools to have the surgical precision of a Freudian expert.
The next time we meet expect a smile, a pleasant demeanor, and an aversion to digging in old dirt. Dirty looks or snide comments will only amuse me. If you make empty threats I will advice you not. When you say they are not but promises expect my full attention and future repercussions you only brought upon yourself.
Thanks. Have a wonderous day. And don't forget. Loving someone means you have patience with them but it never means we aren't obligated to ignore their dangerous flaws silently and not revile or rebuke them forever.
61-69, M
