You are sick. Taking your medication as prescribed by your medical team is important.
Instead of trying to fight your psychotic episodes, maybe it could be better for you to just let them happen??? Obviously, you know that you can't stop them any more than you can walk on water.
A lot of what you know about sin doesn't really apply when you are in a psychotic episode anyway because you are unable to have at least full knowledge and free will because of your illness clouding your better judgement and preventing you from having the ability to make better choices in the understanding that you are likely to commit sin if you do this thing.
Of course, that's not a "Get out of confession free" card - but an acceptance of the fact that you may not be able to determine that you are about to commit grave sin and you don't have the understanding to make better choices because of your psychosis. You're still bound to confess any sin that you commit of your own free will.
Given that you speak of trying to forget your psychotic episodes, would that be the same thing as trying to deny your cross??? I mean, Jesus does say "Let him take up his cross and follow me" - so, maybe our imperfections are our cross that we should be bearing as we follow Jesus??? 🤔🤔🤔
