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The problem isnt that I don't believe in God , its that I don't understand him.


Everyone says lean on God
Go to church
Trust in Him.
Have faith in Him.
Believe in Him.

I did all these things.
I leaned on God
I went to Church
I trusted Him.
I had faith in Him
I believed in Him.

Then I started listening.
"God never gives you more than you can handle" when i was 8 years old after leaning on the church after being abused. - You know what? God expects a lot out of an 8 year old.

I opened up in group therapy at Church - i discussed my trauma after being raped, and was informed God would not have let that happened if it wasn't for your own good - so I deserved to have the worst night of my life happen to me?

I trusted God - He had a reason - and I was able to put up with a lot, until it finally became hard times, and trauma over and over.

I had faith - that if I kept believing in him that it would get easier for me, that one day it wouldn't hurt so much to keep living.

I believed in Him - but the belief that he was a good thing - changed to a bad thing.

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TexChik · F
Bad things happen to good people every day. It happened to me over several years as a little girl until I could take care of myself. God didn't do that. I think people are allowed to live their lives, which to God is a nanosecond. Those that are evil go down, those that believe, try to believe, or just hope I think go up. We all get to find out how we did at the end. A good pastor will be more than happy to discuss everything with you, and you decide how you want live. With or without God in your life.
DragonFruit · 61-69, M
The group therapy people were out of line for making any inference that you might deserve what happened to you ....their reasoning is sick!
AlyAngel · F
@DragonFruit I remember their names, Polly & Sarah, Polly was in her late 50s at the time and Sarah was in her young 30s. Its been 5 years since I seen them and it is still something that I can vividly remember
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