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I Hate Job Interviews

“Why do you want this job?”

I understand employers want you to lie and give them some fake in depth reason. But we all know the real answer, it’s because we need money. So why waste time and ask this? I lie through 90% of the interview. The trick is to just keep in mind about what they want to hear, and customize it a bit to your personality. 3/3 jobs I interviewed for, I got 👍 just remember, lie. Lie like your life depends on it.

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So tell me about yourself
What made you pick AssJack Inc. ?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years ?
What are your hobbies ?
What experience to you have in handling customers ?
@MarmeeMarch what would your previous employer say is your greatest weakness?
@SooperSarah I come in late every day - do minimal work when I am here and leave early and have a nasty attitude. - Then never hire me hmm🤔
@MarmeeMarch no points for honesty?
@SooperSarah Yea - nothing - just - ok we will get back to you
@MarmeeMarch which they probably never do... liars
@SooperSarah I always follow up with - Dear Mr. Lampshade , I am just following up on my interview that I had 3 days ago and was wondering if you have made a decision on the position. Because I do believe that I would be a perfect fit on your team. Thanks for reading this................ You dickhead.