Most probably I can stay here until the end of August so I can relax about the housing for now

I have a ton of work to do though, it just is so much and I try to take it easy.

I feel very alone but I have to get used to it and move beyond and quit expecting company now.

I set my expectations pretty high for myself after long, and I love that. I want to keep it that way, despite it being stressful. I build up and am ready. It is a strange moment and energy to be into.

And then trying to calm down, be humble whilst being determined, being kind whilst deciding to go beyond obstacles, all these fine lines of doing my job but trying to not harm anyone by doing it - I will have to get used to the idea that some will get harmed, that not everyone likes my vibe and intensity.
And be happy and be moving forwards despite it.

It is challenging when you have not an intimate support system. Now I do have a support system, friends are helping me with a to of things, friends that I meet on my way. But I miss being held, like cry in the company of someone.

ugh. I have chosen this way, or this is the way to do the things for me.