As part of my future studies

I decided I’m going to do a remote internship with an international company through a platform such as the intern group etc. you have to pay a $1000-$3,000 dollars for the program but the work experience is invaluable. I wish I had more exploring of this nature when I was in my teens and twenties instead of letting life pass me by. They have so many industries. I am a late bloomer but I don’t want my life to be limited to just staying on disability benefits and feeling like a failure. No one calls me a failure but I feel like one. The trick is to stay motivated once I get the work so I’ll never need disability again. I need to make enough to take care of myself. I need to keep myself from going back into a depressive funk.after the internship, Making anywhere from $ 50,000-$100, 000 would be ok for standard of living as long as I don’t live in an extremely high cost area. . Someday I hope to be functional enough to hold down a career of around 25-30 hours weekly or its equivalent of a remote flexible careers. If I don’t burn out maybe. I could try 30-35 hours or even 40 hours but that is the maximum I would work and I would have to break up my hours with I. I can’t work six to eight hours without breaks and being able to take care of other things in my life. This is why I want careers that flex with. My life so I can work a career around my life but live my life around a career. I wonder if I could learn to provide for myself. Although I admit sometimes I wish I had a wealthy spouse ( or at least a spouse with a comfortable income) who was kindhearted and generous and could help me pay for things while I kept to a part time career and advanced my studies. Some people would say that is a sugar daddy or sugar mama but I don’t think marriage is as transactional as a sugar dating arrangement. I want someone to love like I loved my Sujeet and I didn’t care that he didn’t make much money but because I didn’t have enough money and he didn’t have enough money we could not make our relationship. Real life. Now if I can’t have him and he has moved on and married someone else. the next best thing is a spouse who is kind hearted, gentle, and generous and is willing to help me pay to better myself and in addition to my part time career and finishing my education that level of financial security wouldn’t be a bad thing. My parents think it’s a bad idea to rely on someone to provide for me because that would make me dependent on them and they could stop supporting me or maybe they would abuse me.