I took a "professional" headshot of myself.

Got dressed up in my suit and tie, stacked up a whole bunch of boxes on each other in front of a white, featureless door, put the laptop on the boxes, and crouched partway down to be in the center of frame. Held the mouse by my side and clicked to take the picture, a few times for good measure. Not exactly perfect but pretty good for the tools I had, and it was free. Good enough for my LinkedIn profile anyway.

I'd post the results here, but I just know one of you freaks is going to feed it into reverse image search.