Bloody sky behind, being drained of the last of its remaining light.Tail light bleed into the distant darkness of approaching night.
I search for a way off this endless asphalt, but I can't find a way off this path.Seems it is going in endless loops from home, to work, to home, to work, on repeat.
The only thing that holds any releif is when my lips meet the bittter sweet taste of escape of a liquid release, but then only just temporarily.Though last night, I met you in my dream, how long has it been since you last visited me in my sleep?
We kissed and made love, and I woke up burning inside and surprised with a shaking body and searing pleasure between and below. Then I went back to sleep aching in relief, but you were gone from me.
The most beautiful girl I've ever seen. How we used to take photos and wrote love poems on them, sending them to one another, like teenage lovers. Two hearts we said were one in a mirror.
How could anyone ever prepare for you dying a young woman at 27, in my arms, and now buried deep within my heart? Buried along with all of our hopes and dreams to make a family and a good life together.
On your tomb stone within me, everything we ever said or felt between us is written in scars on the aching, ever bleeding walls of my heart. I buried it all so deep I forgot we ever existed at all.
I forgot that we were ever engaged to be married before the end came hard and fast after a lingering slow and painful journey to it.
It only came out suddenly and tearfully in therapy when I was on the edge of self-destruction. I couldn't handle the grief, so I disassociated the past from my present.
But every night eventually leads to the daylight, and every love finds its way back to its home eventually, though often only in the next life.
I'll keep driving my pointless life in circles, hoping you'll find your way back to me in my sleep. I've come to find that to be my greatest comfort. When you come back to me in my dreams.
We met on ep.. and now here I am over ten years later here in this shadow world of the former place I once felt was my only real home in this world.
The only place I truly belonged, the only place were I felt seen and cared for, important and valued. Here I am, just another ghost most can't even see, even when I am right in front of them screaming.
I know it's not any consolation, but you found the kind of love so many people look for all their lives and never find. May you meet her again someday.
