Ghosting most life things~

One of the good things about not checking most messages for anything except necessities is a corresponding reduction of temptation, aggression, impulsiveness, and dissatisfaction in my daily life.

While I'm unhappy I missed out on not one but two events related to my work, I also know that that lack of satisfaction is nothing more than a withdrawal symptom of my addictions, that of perfectionism ,wanting to be needed and wanting to rewrite my past.

I've found that material attachments tend to become obligations and nuisances in the long run. I need less toys and I need less tools.

The ability to recognize the difference between a need and a want has gone a long way in avoiding conflict in my life, and pacifying my tendency to seek out control.

I have stopped depending on her validation for couple of months now. She gets what she needs but I expect nothing back.

Things , validations, accomplishments..as nice as they are, only become trophies of an ongoing dopamine addiction.

I don't need another dependency. I don't need another attachment. I don't need another object or fetish. I don't need another goal.

They just mask an underlying hunger for true substance, true worth, true meaning.

I already have all that I need in that regard.

What I do need more is to discover what's truly worthwhile outside all of these glorified habits and aims everyone seems obsessed about. Get a job, cars, houses, mariage, children, bars, clubs, diamond, gold, bitcoin, investments...

I need less things, less titles, less people, more experiences and more connection outside the social ones, away from humans and their various attachements.

I am ready to be abducted 👽