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I Struggle With My Body Image

To say I struggle with my body image, is an understatement. I hate myself. I hate my body. I despise myself from head to toe. I've tried dieting, exercise, and starving myself. I was bulimic during my last years of high school and all that happened was I got a trip to the hospital sick as a dog. I went 300lbs to 130lbs in a matter of 2 to 3 months. I gained everything back after I got really sick and ended up in a wheelchair after my bones weakened to the point that my hip collapsed. And ever since I haven't been able to lose weight since. Now I hate everything. I rarely leave the house. I wear a sweater and a wool hat even when its 90 degrees so I don't offend anyone with my looks and shape.
I tried to get surgery but because of the health problems I developed, I was denied any chance of weight loss surgery. I tried to talking to someone about it but people are useless when it comes to the subject of my body image. I don't know how else to see myself either than fat and disgusting now. That's how people look at me anyway. I can't even walk into a store without getting laughs or disgusted looks from everyone. That's why I shut myself away from everything and everyone. If I can't stand the way I look, no one else will.
I don't struggle with body issue problems. I suffer but alone. I'd been holding this in for years now and this is my first post venting everything I feel about my body.
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SW-User
Difficult, but don't give up. I force myself to exercise almost every day and sometimes that is tough but you have to dig in. You will reap the rewards and after a while it becomes a way of life