Alcohol struggle

I know it's been a long time when I was seriously sober. I was sober full year in 2020. But then again after bar was open and I got a job I started slowly drinking alcohol. I drank rum with coke on Monday. Won't lie I drink my alcohol at bar with only few peanuts. But worst is when I started drinking more heavily. Let's say I drink 3pegs(60ml of whisky) + 90ml with soda water etc. But when I drink rum or vodka it's like 6 pegs.(with cold drinks) I have tried to take my mind off from it. Since stress, loneliness etc contributes my attention towards it. I have been so we since past two days. Although it felt quite sick and cold. I look older and I want to reverse the effect. I go to gym and I want to add more hobbies. Probably do a better job or get a gf who can divert my attention. But it's like I am the one who should act on reversing the alcohol affect. I want to rejuvenate my internal organs and get rid off toxins and be sober. I did again had urges to go and atleast have a beer or vodka with some food today. But I haven't gone. I remember that I saw a many videos on effects of alcohol. One of them is this.

[media=https://youtu.be/tiUmHTkOOcs]

I want to turn my life around. I wish things were easy.