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Alcohol struggle

I know it's been a long time when I was seriously sober. I was sober full year in 2020. But then again after bar was open and I got a job I started slowly drinking alcohol. I drank rum with coke on Monday. Won't lie I drink my alcohol at bar with only few peanuts. But worst is when I started drinking more heavily. Let's say I drink 3pegs(60ml of whisky) + 90ml with soda water etc. But when I drink rum or vodka it's like 6 pegs.(with cold drinks) I have tried to take my mind off from it. Since stress, loneliness etc contributes my attention towards it. I have been so we since past two days. Although it felt quite sick and cold. I look older and I want to reverse the effect. I go to gym and I want to add more hobbies. Probably do a better job or get a gf who can divert my attention. But it's like I am the one who should act on reversing the alcohol affect. I want to rejuvenate my internal organs and get rid off toxins and be sober. I did again had urges to go and atleast have a beer or vodka with some food today. But I haven't gone. I remember that I saw a many videos on effects of alcohol. One of them is this.

[media=https://youtu.be/tiUmHTkOOcs]

I want to turn my life around. I wish things were easy.
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LilPrincess · 41-45, F
I am a recovering alcoholic. I started drinking at 15 and by 18 I had a judge tell me i had two choices AA or jail. I took AA and have fell off the wagon every 5 years.

In July I hit the 5 year mark. Personally i had to cut people out of my life. I basically grounded myself. Home and work for three solid years. I started making more excuses not to go out then i had why i wanted to drink.

Last two years have been a shit show however i haven't wanted to drink.
@LilPrincess wow! That's inspirational! You stayed strong. This is will help me. 🙂
LilPrincess · 41-45, F
@littlepuppywantanewlife glad i could help. I wish you the best.