I Struggle With My Body Image

It's no longer a struggle, I'm obsessed about my body image, to the point where I get physically ill and throw up.
I spend hours in the gym at least 4 times a week. The days I don't go I'll barely get myself to eat and I have to take a walk lasting a minimum of 3 hours, if not I'll feel like I won't fit into my clothes... I write down everything I eat and drink in a day, at what time even.
I'll measure my body every week or more.

I can't stand in front of a mirror without being covered in oversized clothes, yet I'll still spend overly much time looking at everything I hate about myself from head to toe, making myself insecure and in tears. When I'm out, or at work I'll obsess so much about: how fat I must look, how disgusting I feel, ugly, "what if I smell bad?" "Poor people who have to put up with me." In the end I'll be so disgusted with myself I throw up.

I know it's all in my head and it's just me who think this way about me, most people are too busy to even have an opinion or notice me in the crowd. Yet I can't reverse it and accept me for me, there's not a single inch of my body I'm okey with.

I'm not just my worst enemy, I'm my own worst nightmare...