Midlife crisis

I'm old enough. That's true. I've run my last long distance run. I'm not sad but I lack something for sure. Perhaps there's someone in my past that was the one that got away. I think a lot. I've gone to collect records again too. Is this my midlife crisis? I've been neglecting myself. Not keeping up appearances. I look like someone's gran these days. How I hate that. They get younger each year, those grandparents. How come that I can only connect to those that are out of reach? Is it my curse? I can't help that I think a lot. Once I fooled around in the hay like there was no tomorrow. Now tomorrow has come and there's even no hay any more. Politicians have been turned into glorified commedians. Art has become past modern modernism. Don't like to own anything but surely like to enjoy something more than mediocracy. Let the wild bunch ride again. Babysitters all grown up and grans themselves. I feel way too old at times. Like this morning. I used to howl at the moon but nowadays just go early to bed in order to wake up in the cold. I'm not sad, just mourning the friends that have gone and the love that still out there but out of reach again.