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I Am Pansexual

Transgender Partner... I have not much summed to announce on your behalf... But, I still love you. I've always. From friendship to lovers, through all seasons of feelings, my emotions have remained solid.

His name is Rayne. We met July 24th around 6pm in IMVU. I was trolling people as a new user to the site my friend had recommended me to a month after ending a toxic relationship. Our meeting was brief. We simply trolled people together and in the process, exchanged friendship. He left afterwards.

Later on, I left to make new friends. I met some people named Jonah, Zoey, and Poi. We went into a room, owned by Jonah, and played truth or dare. After a while, Poi and Jonah took over and were becoming a bit too intimate, leaving me and Zoey to speak. To spice it up, I invited Rayne and he made things so fun. I was laughing so hard with him. We took pictures, offered our names and had a lovely conversation about art and literature.

Eventually, everyone left. It was just me and him, and honestly, I barely noticed everyone's absence. Rayne told me about his previous relationship and how it still bothered him to know that his first LDR was a failure. That entire night we spoke about ourselves and how we felt about many things. Towards the end, around 4 in the morning, we agreed we had to sleep. He said, "Hell, here's my number," along with his Skype.

We spoke on Skype a bit before heading to bed. The passion felt incredible and amazing. He told me about his life, the things he has experienced and something so deep, I felt enlightened to know. Rayne is a FtoM transgender. He was actually She. He said he felt comfortable enough to inform me. He added that not anyone, even his close friends, knew so much about him.

As time passed, he invited me to his private chats and we would talk about our past and where we wanted to go. He would call me, "love," "hun," "dear," and I would return it. My feelings for him exploded to a passionate admiration. We Skyped a lot by now.

About 2 weeks later, the arguments came. We argued and argued about what we were versus what we wanted to be. After a huge fight, he confessed how his jealously got in the way of the friendship and he liked me intensely. August 10th, two days after my birthday, at 10 in the morning.. Rayne was mine.

Now, today... October the 16th... We are no longer together. We broke up because I was too foolish to lose him. We broke contact for five days after the relationship. Since Sunday, after some interference from a family member, we have spoken. We confirm that we still love each other but it's best to wait for anything besides friendship. I loved him both ways and still do. Knowing we can still peacefully speak reassures me enough that this is the best way. I learned and I will apply everything I have understood towards a healthy friendship.

But, God, I love him... I love him.. I'd do anything for him.. Whether we are friends or lovers, or strangers... I love you, Rayne.
I am so sorry to hear your loss. I felt your passion and love for him, and fate brought you two together, now it is time to end for whatever reason, at least you've got a chance to love him dearly.

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