So I had a talk with my 19yrs
I wasnt sure if I was to post this, because of some recent event but, i decide to share this
So, most of you know how I've been struggling the last 8 years and how my divorce affected my relationship (at the time and still now) with my daughters...and the desperate move I made in regards...(many (over 20) suicidal attemps over the last 8 yrs)
For those who don't know, to make a long story short, I was with my ex husband 21 yrs, married 8 and separated in 2014 after I came out as a lesbian. When i came out, we both agreed that to help the transition for the kids, i would stay in the family home for 4 months, we would have shared custody amd no child support as the kids were supposed to be 1 week out of two with me.... but after 2 weeks i got kicked out cause the new girlfriend was coming in, i was served papers a week later telling me i had no more right to see my 2 eldest at the time 11 and 14 unless they asked to see me, I had visitation right in the amount of time of 3hrs weekly plus 3 hours a sunday per month, I was not allowed to call their house to say goodnight, all communication had to be made through him and I was to pay child support..
Once i tried ro talk to my oldest and he threaten to call the cops if I did, he would not allow me near them... all this because I came out and hurt his ego... suddenly i was a bad mom, a bad friend and a bad sister. He made me lose everything evwn my job at the time as we worked at the same place..
Anyways... last week my 19yrs comes to em ans tell me that her grandmother was telling evweyone how i ruined my 17yrd daughter's birthday because i showed up there after her diner party (as everyone was leaving, i checked first with my 19yrs) to surprise her as I had my jeep.on her birthday and she loves them just as much as I do if not more...the look on her fa r was priceless, and she was so excited to drive it as she just also had gotten hwr licence on that day.... but hwr grandma claims i did it on purpose to ruin the day for everyone, saying i probably had my jeep days prior but did all that on purpose.. like whatever...
My kids tried to tell her i ruined nithing but she would not have it... she hates me lime no ine else... when i left her son, she called me all the names in the book, not to mention she is extremely homophobic, poor her my oldest is also lesbian...and yeah when i left him, she used ro go running her mouth to everyone i knew, and every place she knew i was shopping telling all how bad of a person i was, that i had left her son and now decided to be gay.. yeah right I decided 🤦♀️
So I came clean about what happened after the seperation and as to why i didnt see her or her oldest aister and also as to why i moved out so quickly..
She did confirm my doubts, she was not aware her dad kept me away from them, and that he throug
h me out and all he did to make sure i would not see them grow from teens to adult...she also didnt know that they were supposed to be with me half the time too. I am so thankfull she came back to me after 3 years, but its not until 2 yrs ago that we gotten really close,after my last attempts, and yes my kids know about it and yes they have seen my cuts scars..
She also told me that she believes although my oldest (shes 23yrs) still refuses any contact , that she does keep all my letters I've sent to her over the years, hopefully one day she will come back too
I never said anything to them before, never even talk shit about her dad in her face, i always said, its not my kids fault, its something between me and their dad... but now she is an adult and she opened a door, so I stepped in. Also she sees that i am always there for her and her sister, she sees what I do for them and how their fad is towards them.. she starts to realize
So, most of you know how I've been struggling the last 8 years and how my divorce affected my relationship (at the time and still now) with my daughters...and the desperate move I made in regards...(many (over 20) suicidal attemps over the last 8 yrs)
For those who don't know, to make a long story short, I was with my ex husband 21 yrs, married 8 and separated in 2014 after I came out as a lesbian. When i came out, we both agreed that to help the transition for the kids, i would stay in the family home for 4 months, we would have shared custody amd no child support as the kids were supposed to be 1 week out of two with me.... but after 2 weeks i got kicked out cause the new girlfriend was coming in, i was served papers a week later telling me i had no more right to see my 2 eldest at the time 11 and 14 unless they asked to see me, I had visitation right in the amount of time of 3hrs weekly plus 3 hours a sunday per month, I was not allowed to call their house to say goodnight, all communication had to be made through him and I was to pay child support..
Once i tried ro talk to my oldest and he threaten to call the cops if I did, he would not allow me near them... all this because I came out and hurt his ego... suddenly i was a bad mom, a bad friend and a bad sister. He made me lose everything evwn my job at the time as we worked at the same place..
Anyways... last week my 19yrs comes to em ans tell me that her grandmother was telling evweyone how i ruined my 17yrd daughter's birthday because i showed up there after her diner party (as everyone was leaving, i checked first with my 19yrs) to surprise her as I had my jeep.on her birthday and she loves them just as much as I do if not more...the look on her fa r was priceless, and she was so excited to drive it as she just also had gotten hwr licence on that day.... but hwr grandma claims i did it on purpose to ruin the day for everyone, saying i probably had my jeep days prior but did all that on purpose.. like whatever...
My kids tried to tell her i ruined nithing but she would not have it... she hates me lime no ine else... when i left her son, she called me all the names in the book, not to mention she is extremely homophobic, poor her my oldest is also lesbian...and yeah when i left him, she used ro go running her mouth to everyone i knew, and every place she knew i was shopping telling all how bad of a person i was, that i had left her son and now decided to be gay.. yeah right I decided 🤦♀️
So I came clean about what happened after the seperation and as to why i didnt see her or her oldest aister and also as to why i moved out so quickly..
She did confirm my doubts, she was not aware her dad kept me away from them, and that he throug
h me out and all he did to make sure i would not see them grow from teens to adult...she also didnt know that they were supposed to be with me half the time too. I am so thankfull she came back to me after 3 years, but its not until 2 yrs ago that we gotten really close,after my last attempts, and yes my kids know about it and yes they have seen my cuts scars..
She also told me that she believes although my oldest (shes 23yrs) still refuses any contact , that she does keep all my letters I've sent to her over the years, hopefully one day she will come back too
I never said anything to them before, never even talk shit about her dad in her face, i always said, its not my kids fault, its something between me and their dad... but now she is an adult and she opened a door, so I stepped in. Also she sees that i am always there for her and her sister, she sees what I do for them and how their fad is towards them.. she starts to realize
