Gay/queer people: are you out to your family?
If not, do you think they’d be okay with it if they knew?
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JcuriousTX · 56-60, M
I didn't come out to my family until I was in college and sowing my wood oats. I had a serious boyfriend while in pharmacy school, so I decided to take the plunge, as I was almost prepared to be out on my own, if need be. I had already come out to my closest friends with absolutely no issues.
My older brother was totally cool with it and thought both 'rents would be okay (we had already experimented in our earlier years together...long story). So, I did the hardest thing ever in my life and told my mom, separately, one morning. She cried, but only because she knew how hard it must have been for me to do it, and because she was worried it might make my life harder. Even though my mom had made comments before about gays, fags, etc. (Martina Navratilova, Paul Lynde era), my dad had always been an austere man. I never felt acceptance or real love from him until much later in life. I was afraid of his reaction most of all. We were in the living room watching nothing important on tv, when I mustered the courage, much like with my mom, just saying, "I have to tell you something. I'm gay "
I was in the Twilight Zone even as he spoke. Time stood still, clock hands flung madly to and fro, I heard nothing. Then, all of a sudden............"doesn't matter. We're still going to love you no matter what..."
I could breathe again. My heart restarted. The world continued it's ways. It WAS the hardest thing ever. More grating, and gut-wrenching than getting a professional degree. I know I'm one of the lucky ones - not everyone's family and friends are so accepting. But yes, I am out, to everyone, and I will always be proud, mostly because of their support, let alone the difficult achievement of awaiting their acceptance.
My older brother was totally cool with it and thought both 'rents would be okay (we had already experimented in our earlier years together...long story). So, I did the hardest thing ever in my life and told my mom, separately, one morning. She cried, but only because she knew how hard it must have been for me to do it, and because she was worried it might make my life harder. Even though my mom had made comments before about gays, fags, etc. (Martina Navratilova, Paul Lynde era), my dad had always been an austere man. I never felt acceptance or real love from him until much later in life. I was afraid of his reaction most of all. We were in the living room watching nothing important on tv, when I mustered the courage, much like with my mom, just saying, "I have to tell you something. I'm gay "
I was in the Twilight Zone even as he spoke. Time stood still, clock hands flung madly to and fro, I heard nothing. Then, all of a sudden............"doesn't matter. We're still going to love you no matter what..."
I could breathe again. My heart restarted. The world continued it's ways. It WAS the hardest thing ever. More grating, and gut-wrenching than getting a professional degree. I know I'm one of the lucky ones - not everyone's family and friends are so accepting. But yes, I am out, to everyone, and I will always be proud, mostly because of their support, let alone the difficult achievement of awaiting their acceptance.