I Have a Gay Father

My situation is the reverse from most others disowned by my family. I’m gay (Surprise!) and knew I was back in 1970 but do to many different circumstances got married and had two boys with my wife. Flash forward 30 years and I came out – was outed. The kids were gone and I didn’t see a “happily ever after” with her. Divorced now, I met a man and married him. I’m finally REALLY happy now for the first time after 3 decades of pretending. One huge downside, my kids have divorced me. Even sending Christmas cards last year was met with a terse 4 sentence response complete with legalistic language threatening me to stop contact. So there you have it. I literally made these boys, changed their dirty diapers, raised them, supported them, LOVED them and now, I’m done. Unless their attitudes change I’ll never see my grandchildren. I get it that my ex-wife, who claims to be Christian, is done with me but setting my kids against me…..? To make it all the worse I’m only 20 minutes from either child.

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SW-User

They probably feel lied to, if not betrayed; that's a fairly big secret.

Steverick · 61-69, M

@SW-User Hard to say what they want(ed). Funny my son said that if his son was gay they'd accept and support him. Also my other son was friends with several gays in Tech School, he was even introduced to his female partner by gays........but no such acceptance of their own father.

SW-User

@Steverick It's sometimes hard to accept such a drastic change all at once, I'm sure it completely unravelled their perception. It's best just to move on, and maybe down the road they'll reach out, but I would try to forget about them, as impossible as that may seem at the moment.