I Am a Closeted Gay

I just can't believe that at 35 I'm still in the closet. How much more numb can my limbs be from being squeezed into this area? Just one person knows that I am gay, or I should say I came out to them and that is my best friend. She said that she was so proud of me and would stand behind me 100%. Well at least that's one person who'll have my back. But I don't know if I'll be able to tell my family. I am extremely close to my family and I cherish them in my life. If I'd ever lose them I don't know what I'd do. They aren't homophobes but it's always a different situation when it hits close to home. But I think they'll be ok with it but I'm not sure yet if I can take the chance. I think they know and others do for that matter. I mean I'm not the flamboyant type of person and I am a huge sports fan, but I am emotional and I've been told that I am a sweet, nice and kind guy. So I think that people do think that I am. Back in 7th grade I had a kid tell me he thought that I was gay, Back then being gay wasn't like it was now. You'd get gay bashed, insulted and isolated. So I always said that I wasn't out of fear and the fact that I believed that I was straight. It didn't change until High School when the quarterback of the football team had a smile that could melt my insides. I then realized that I wasn't completely straight. It took me sometime to confront myself to realize I'm not straight at all but gay. The funniest thing was that growing up I always thought I wanted to get married and have kids. I never said that I wanted a wife. As I got older I realized that and there was a reason for that, I didn't want a woman. I wanted a husband. Sorry for the rambling but I needed to let out what I was thinking. Thanks to a good friend that I met on here, I've become more and more comfortable in being my self and not giving a shit to what others think of me. I'm gay and I'm happy with that and the person that I am. I may not come out draped in a rainbow flag waving in my hand but I will tell you if you have the decency to ask me with respect.