I Want Fat Kids [I Want To Get So Fat, My Fat Won't Stop Growing]
In an ideal world, with no medical downsides to obesity, I'd love to have an obese son and daughter. Under my care, they'd weight at least 500 pounds by age sixteen, and would need to have their clothes specially tailored for them. The closest they'd get to vegetables would be French fries, and the most exercise they'd get would be waddling between the living room and the kitchen. They'd just wear underwear when they were at home, wobbling and jiggling with every movement.