Meeting 9 w/ Sir K (2025-Aug02)
My phone rang and I was looking for it to answer it quickly. I knew where it was but it wasn’t easy to get to, because I wasn’t expecting a call and I don’t really use phones much. Some people might think that I’m really social and high maintenance, but I assure you that I am not. I pulled out my phone and looked at it confused. It claimed to be Sir K…, but I didn’t believe it. Why would it be? I’d not heard from him since last year and it’s now July… 7 months into a new year. If it were true, then I’d be happy to hear from him. The last time I’d talked to him I’d been disappointed in myself for being unable to find my alternate phone that contained a video that he wanted. I had just found that phone earlier that day, but I hadn’t messaged or called him. I debated whether I should contact him, but decided against it for right then, because I wasn’t sure that I wanted that kind of attention. It’s an explicit video that he’d taken of me during our last meeting. When he asked if I wanted him to record, I’d agreed, because I’d been encouraged by another person to do a video. It’s not as if I mind an audience and it would be nice if there were people who wanted to know things and perhaps see things. It doesn’t mean that I’d send videos or pictures anywhere, but I’d be able to say that I have them, because I wouldn’t normally make things up. I am emboldened by the fact that nothing identifiable about Sir K is in the video, which makes it seem like the decision is purely mine.
When I answered the phone it was, indeed, Sir K. I wasn’t “fall out of my chair” shocked, due to the caller identification, but I was still very surprised. It’s been awhile and then he said that I’d not called him, yes, I was aware and.. the audacity. He’s the one that hadn’t wanted very much contact, because he’s “not good at it” and I had stopped harassing him, because it made me seem like a stalker toward someone who wanted nothing to do with me. I’d like to think that I don’t have to beg for attention, especially not from someone who’s not my Dom, which I don’t have at all. I reminded him that he’s the one that hates communicating and I let that go. I’m submissive, but not desperate.. I think I deserve someone who wants to communicate. I said that we had something good together, but he wanted to end it. He asked how I’d been and let him know that I’d been laid off from my job. He seemed concerned and empathetic about that, but I was skeptical. He said he would help me find out about remote work and I appreciated that idea, but it didn’t seem likely to happen. He said that he wanted to meet with me to give me a hug and help out with some money. I didn’t jump at the opportunity, because I’m always thinking about a person’s motives. I’m sure that he might have a charitable spirit, but is there something more? I didn’t perceive any indication of anything more, except.. he wanted an isolated location. It was 10pm and I had about 1.5 hours of available time. Part of me regretted that I said that I wasn’t doing anything but waiting for my daughter. It’s always better to appear busy at least at first. I wasn’t trying to be available, I was just being too trusting again. It’s difficult to avoid doing that when a person is actually listening. Normally, I’m guarded about everything I might share or questions I respond to, because I learned from toxic relationships that the information might be used against me, even things as simple as activities I do or things I enjoy might need to be private. I no longer have access to any relationship where its okay to share everything. It is the requirement to respond with the requested information, the restriction of my activities, the expected adherence to rules, and some consequences that make me feel free and cared for. Except that I will never ask for those things again, I just have hopes that the right Dom will find me. I went to my ex’s house today to make some bacon for him, because I have a desire to serve. There would never be anything sexual with him, because he rejected my foundational self and I had lost all desire. I needed to move on and maybe find acceptance elsewhere.
I met Sir K at a Dominoes Restaurant and followed him to a secluded location. We were in a parking lot late at night. We had a nice long hug and he rubbed his front against me saying that a part of him was happy to see me. I didn’t know what to think about that and so I didn’t think about it, because sometimes I can’t trust my behavior and I wanted to stay composed and in control of myself, which is necessary when a Dom isn’t available. Sir K was just some guy that used to be a prospective Dom and as much as I enjoy him, I can’t be anywhere near as eager as I’d otherwise be if he were my Dom. At the same time, I’m unable to come up with any ideas or independent thoughts, because my mind is drawing blanks. I’m always disappointed in myself for not being able to think and for missing out on some things.. so there’s always something I’m criticizing myself for. Sir K said that he needed to be and so I held his.. tool as he peed on my hand. It took him about 10 minutes to do it, because he was hard. He said that me stroking him made it more difficult and it’s too bad that I don’t regret it. I almost completely stopped doing that so that he could finally manage. It was very warm upon my hand and it splashed on the ground, I tried not to get any on him. He wanted me to be careful not to get any on myself, but that wasn’t a concern for me. When he was done I went to my car to pour some alcohol and a cloth, because that’s how I clean up and I was going to wipe my hands, but he decided to help. He opened the alcohol and poured some on the cloth. He asked what I do when I play with the alcohol. Well, I wet my finger with alcohol and insert that finger inside myself. I always regret it, because it burns. So Sir K wanted to do that, he had me pour it on his finger and then he inserted it, then he poured more.. an ample amount of alcohol. I’d never had that much at once and it burned a whole lot, so I whined and tried to get away, but wasn’t able to. He stroked me inside. So there are 3 hotspots inside.. and he chose the most difficult one to get to. I guess that might be the best one, but I don’t know if any are better than any other, I guess it depends on which reaction he likes best. Such as hitting the g-spot would be a lot of gasping, squirming, and whimpering; while hitting the cervix would result in groaning, squirming, and tensing up. I wasn’t going to mention the 3rd, but I’ll briefly say that it’s just the vaginal opening and is only responsive if something even slightly larger is repeatedly fully removed and inserted.. I assume that no one would do that. With Sir K inserting his finger, which was drenched in alcohol, I couldn’t enjoy anything due to the burning of the alcohol, but once that stopped, it became nice. Well, when I used to play with myself I’d have to fight through the pain then as well. He asked if the alcohol dries me out when I play on my own, I said that it does, but the wetness returns quickly. Of course, it might have taken longer due to the amount he used. It was bad, but I’d been through it and regretted it before, it wasn’t new.. just worse than usual.
After that, Sir K wanted me to suck him and I was surprised. I did an excellent job at restraining myself and then he has to say that. Let’s go back to when he was pee.. I mean TRYING to pee.. lol.. and I was stroking him. When he finally did pee, it was hitting my hand and the ground. See all of that massive self restraint? It drives me nuts to not have that in my mouth. And then if he pees in my mouth, then I’m still restraining myself to not suck on it. Whew… I survived.. amazing. I wouldn’t want anyone to know this, because then they’d think that I’m freaky or something, right? And so I pretend to be in complete control, to appear to want nothing while considering ideas that are presented to me. He helped me up onto the lowered door of his truck bed. I sucked him, while stoking him, and massaging his balls. It’s nice to have the warning that he’s about to cum so that I don’t choke. He came in my mouth and it was a lot, so I stopped sucking and spit it out, but kept stroking him. I like to maintain focused. I was stroking him and he was very sensitive, which is why I only licked and sucked him lightly. He was moaning so much and trying to endure it, which seemed difficult. I never forget that the task I had been given is always to drain him completely, which I’m certain was accomplished. I got the cum cleaned up from my hands and face with my alcohol on a washcloth. He cleaned it off his truck. Then he had to pee again, so I was restraining myself again as he peed on my hand and then I cleaned my hands with the alcohol cloth. We hugged for a long time and it was nice. We each got back into our vehicles and he called me on the phone. We talked on the phone as he led me over to Sonic restaurant, so that I could buy something to eat.
I have a fantasy.. What if he could cum and pee in my mouth at the same time? Or cum and then pee immediately after? That would be nice, and I think that I could still stay focused, or at least I’m hoping that I could.
When I answered the phone it was, indeed, Sir K. I wasn’t “fall out of my chair” shocked, due to the caller identification, but I was still very surprised. It’s been awhile and then he said that I’d not called him, yes, I was aware and.. the audacity. He’s the one that hadn’t wanted very much contact, because he’s “not good at it” and I had stopped harassing him, because it made me seem like a stalker toward someone who wanted nothing to do with me. I’d like to think that I don’t have to beg for attention, especially not from someone who’s not my Dom, which I don’t have at all. I reminded him that he’s the one that hates communicating and I let that go. I’m submissive, but not desperate.. I think I deserve someone who wants to communicate. I said that we had something good together, but he wanted to end it. He asked how I’d been and let him know that I’d been laid off from my job. He seemed concerned and empathetic about that, but I was skeptical. He said he would help me find out about remote work and I appreciated that idea, but it didn’t seem likely to happen. He said that he wanted to meet with me to give me a hug and help out with some money. I didn’t jump at the opportunity, because I’m always thinking about a person’s motives. I’m sure that he might have a charitable spirit, but is there something more? I didn’t perceive any indication of anything more, except.. he wanted an isolated location. It was 10pm and I had about 1.5 hours of available time. Part of me regretted that I said that I wasn’t doing anything but waiting for my daughter. It’s always better to appear busy at least at first. I wasn’t trying to be available, I was just being too trusting again. It’s difficult to avoid doing that when a person is actually listening. Normally, I’m guarded about everything I might share or questions I respond to, because I learned from toxic relationships that the information might be used against me, even things as simple as activities I do or things I enjoy might need to be private. I no longer have access to any relationship where its okay to share everything. It is the requirement to respond with the requested information, the restriction of my activities, the expected adherence to rules, and some consequences that make me feel free and cared for. Except that I will never ask for those things again, I just have hopes that the right Dom will find me. I went to my ex’s house today to make some bacon for him, because I have a desire to serve. There would never be anything sexual with him, because he rejected my foundational self and I had lost all desire. I needed to move on and maybe find acceptance elsewhere.
I met Sir K at a Dominoes Restaurant and followed him to a secluded location. We were in a parking lot late at night. We had a nice long hug and he rubbed his front against me saying that a part of him was happy to see me. I didn’t know what to think about that and so I didn’t think about it, because sometimes I can’t trust my behavior and I wanted to stay composed and in control of myself, which is necessary when a Dom isn’t available. Sir K was just some guy that used to be a prospective Dom and as much as I enjoy him, I can’t be anywhere near as eager as I’d otherwise be if he were my Dom. At the same time, I’m unable to come up with any ideas or independent thoughts, because my mind is drawing blanks. I’m always disappointed in myself for not being able to think and for missing out on some things.. so there’s always something I’m criticizing myself for. Sir K said that he needed to be and so I held his.. tool as he peed on my hand. It took him about 10 minutes to do it, because he was hard. He said that me stroking him made it more difficult and it’s too bad that I don’t regret it. I almost completely stopped doing that so that he could finally manage. It was very warm upon my hand and it splashed on the ground, I tried not to get any on him. He wanted me to be careful not to get any on myself, but that wasn’t a concern for me. When he was done I went to my car to pour some alcohol and a cloth, because that’s how I clean up and I was going to wipe my hands, but he decided to help. He opened the alcohol and poured some on the cloth. He asked what I do when I play with the alcohol. Well, I wet my finger with alcohol and insert that finger inside myself. I always regret it, because it burns. So Sir K wanted to do that, he had me pour it on his finger and then he inserted it, then he poured more.. an ample amount of alcohol. I’d never had that much at once and it burned a whole lot, so I whined and tried to get away, but wasn’t able to. He stroked me inside. So there are 3 hotspots inside.. and he chose the most difficult one to get to. I guess that might be the best one, but I don’t know if any are better than any other, I guess it depends on which reaction he likes best. Such as hitting the g-spot would be a lot of gasping, squirming, and whimpering; while hitting the cervix would result in groaning, squirming, and tensing up. I wasn’t going to mention the 3rd, but I’ll briefly say that it’s just the vaginal opening and is only responsive if something even slightly larger is repeatedly fully removed and inserted.. I assume that no one would do that. With Sir K inserting his finger, which was drenched in alcohol, I couldn’t enjoy anything due to the burning of the alcohol, but once that stopped, it became nice. Well, when I used to play with myself I’d have to fight through the pain then as well. He asked if the alcohol dries me out when I play on my own, I said that it does, but the wetness returns quickly. Of course, it might have taken longer due to the amount he used. It was bad, but I’d been through it and regretted it before, it wasn’t new.. just worse than usual.
After that, Sir K wanted me to suck him and I was surprised. I did an excellent job at restraining myself and then he has to say that. Let’s go back to when he was pee.. I mean TRYING to pee.. lol.. and I was stroking him. When he finally did pee, it was hitting my hand and the ground. See all of that massive self restraint? It drives me nuts to not have that in my mouth. And then if he pees in my mouth, then I’m still restraining myself to not suck on it. Whew… I survived.. amazing. I wouldn’t want anyone to know this, because then they’d think that I’m freaky or something, right? And so I pretend to be in complete control, to appear to want nothing while considering ideas that are presented to me. He helped me up onto the lowered door of his truck bed. I sucked him, while stoking him, and massaging his balls. It’s nice to have the warning that he’s about to cum so that I don’t choke. He came in my mouth and it was a lot, so I stopped sucking and spit it out, but kept stroking him. I like to maintain focused. I was stroking him and he was very sensitive, which is why I only licked and sucked him lightly. He was moaning so much and trying to endure it, which seemed difficult. I never forget that the task I had been given is always to drain him completely, which I’m certain was accomplished. I got the cum cleaned up from my hands and face with my alcohol on a washcloth. He cleaned it off his truck. Then he had to pee again, so I was restraining myself again as he peed on my hand and then I cleaned my hands with the alcohol cloth. We hugged for a long time and it was nice. We each got back into our vehicles and he called me on the phone. We talked on the phone as he led me over to Sonic restaurant, so that I could buy something to eat.
I have a fantasy.. What if he could cum and pee in my mouth at the same time? Or cum and then pee immediately after? That would be nice, and I think that I could still stay focused, or at least I’m hoping that I could.
