Love is about feeling security, having stability and safety, being known, valued, respected or protected, being a couple and having togetherness.
Whereas Desire is about feeling passion, having fascination and yearning, being wanted, taken, devoured or consumed, being an individual and having separateness.
I'm shaking my life up a bit and looking at issues much more closely. Not that I'll abandon anything for I know that I'm only a poor example of an human being. Not denegrating anything about myself either, just a mid-life reassessment. I do love, a subject matter that I have posted here on before, and I do desire. The issue is that they need to be looked at separately.
Key words for me personally on the subject are on the side of love the being known, valued, respected. I'll leave security, being protected and even being a couple out of it because I do feel that if one doesn't attain the first then the second won't be achieved either. On the desire side I do feel that the key words are being wanted, consumed and being an individual. I'd even go so far that true love is solely about respecting the other as an individual whilst still hungrily wanting to become one with that person. It's a case of both respect and want alright.
I think people define love differently. And it also changes throughout the relationship as the years go on and situations change.
Simply because people grow and develop.
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My partner is struggling to love me.
Because he has never had a long term relationship.
We have also never been pregnant before.
I don't feel desired by him or secure ATM.
I feel smothered and trapped.
I also feel like he does things out of obligation and to be viewed in a good light.
I've been feeling really low this past week. For a number of reasons.
So much so I've spent so much time in bed to avoid being around him and my mum.
He comes in asking me "are you ok?" About 15 times for the day. I know he probably feels helpless. And thinks this is helping. But he gives me no opportunity to actually ask him for anything.
We've stopped being able to communicate in a way that satisfies the other.
Consequently my honesty cuts like a knife! "That question is pissing me off...mum keeps asking if I'm ok, you're asking, my grandparents keep calling to ask the same thing"
I don't do it to be malicious but it's simply because I don't seem to be able to get my point across in softer terms.
There's no excitement no passion no real curiosity from him.
Throughout my pregnancy I've felt so patronised.
The worst thing is when I do ask for things, it's met with deliberation.
How do you win in scenarios like this?
If you read what I have written you could argue that I am being loved by your definition.
Love and desire are different things to different people. For some, and we know who they are, love and desire are the lust for money and possessions. Others have desire only for the protection of those they love. Pure love and desire for one another burn strongest in the youth, but fading and mellowing as time encroaches, and in some cases it dies.
@novaguy2u One can but talk about generalities, of course. Moreover, the exception still proofs the point in that the extraordinary can't ever become common
