I have come to understand I come from a long line of abused women.

I bet a lot of women can say the same.

Not necessarily the blatant poor treatment or physical stuff, but just how awful some men behave towards women. The subtle belittling. The control, the manipulation, the games, the fear. And then the woman's expected response is to accept it and pretend everything is great.

My mother, my grandmother and so on lived in silence in a cage of excuses. Given to men who slowly chipped away at their being, leaving them broken and confused.

I think this is why I have made poor choices and given too many chances to the wrong kind of men.

It makes me so glad to be free of a relationship so I can correct this within me.

I can't entirely blame them for not being stronger. They were strong in other ways and patriarchy is not something new, so it was an inherited behavior, just like I inherited it too.

Good news is I'm strong enough to do what they couldn't. And I don't have a daughter to pass that crap onto. And I can raise a good man and give him a clear sense of equal treatment and actual caring behavior.