I Love Intelligent Men

Hi there akindheart, I just love that name. It gives off such a good feeling. My husband agreed when I told him. Anyway, back to your story. It's never "asking for too much" when wanting to communication from people you're close to, especially your mate/partner. The last time I checked, I thought they were supposed to be your best friend, pal, a confidante, etc. Plus, I think that communicating our most inner selves to a partner brings a closeness you can't get any other way. Unfortunately, a lot of men do not know how to be that way. Some can & will learn, but many just don't want to try. People say, "it's a guy thing." Maybe in the past, but it's a different world now. It's OK for men to talk about feelings, hopes, dreams and it's even OK for them to cry. My husband & I will be married 10 years next month, & together about 16 years. I've been in 2 marriages & one 8 yr relationship. It seems like I had to work my way up, but I finally made it! We can & do talk about everything. He's was married once before, 25 years & 6 kids & retired from the Navy. The last 10 yrs of his marriage did include communication, (unless you count her wanting to argue), hell, it didn't even include sex. She used to say unkind things & he let's certain things get to him. It was like pulling teeth at first to get him to open up. He didn't want to be hurt again. Once he was more confident to express certain things without worrying he would be mocked, he opened up. I'm very open & non-judgmental & so is he. If there wasn't that closeness that comes from communicating everything, I know we wouldn't be as happy as we are. Even though I knew in the back of my mind that I had finally reached that place in my life that I always wanted to be. I know that there isn't anything more emotionally or physically that I want or need. We are truly best friends & lovers. We both are retired & so we are together 98% of the time and you know what? We enjoy it & we have fun. It's an easy relationship with no stressors between us. But it took me about 40 years to get here. So don't give up & don't settle for less than what you need & want. Relationships aren't 50 - 50, they are 100 - 100. Life is too short to settle for less and we know just how quick lives can change. Remember also, if you think you've got a keeper, get to know the other important people in his life as they usually are the best insight into who he really is. #1 important thing: See how he treats his mother & sister(s), if he has any. That is the best way to find out how he'll treat you. In the meantime, my dear, I hope you have a good time interviewing prospective men. I'm sure you'll interview them in depth! :)) Take care

Akindheart:

I have a friend who has a kind heart too, and whose husband doesn't communicate, and it is making life very difficult, between choosing a life and keeping security with the kids. I talk to her and I listen, and we're great friends, but sometimes she finds my kindness difficult to accept because she's not used to it.

What she doesn't know is that I'm the emotional and communicating man I am because I have such a strong female aspect in my mix. Men have so much to learn, in general. I hope you find someone to nurture and cherish you, who you can know fully emotionally.

Andie X

I like this story.
Maybe some guys either don't or wont communicate their feelings, but not me.
I will always be telling you just how special you are to me, how I am feeling and how my day is going.
After all, two people who are joined at the heart should be talking be talking about everything, insignificant to life altering and anything in between.
I like being joined with you.

We should have swapped spouses. My wife does not like to talk about things. And that one characteristic, probably more than any other, has led to our impending divorce. I cannot count the number of one-sided conversations that I have had with that woman over the years.

On behalf of grunters everywhere, i give to you the ultimate grunting communications person i can think of
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XUg5cfwilI&feature=related
This is meant as a joke, please don't take aim at me with the gun, well not unless you mean it!

If you want a guy to talk sense there are one or two of us around who have risen above neandathol and can string sentances together but we are far and few between but if you catch one of us we also show emotions and OH we can be so loveable.I might be one but you never know till we talk.

oh skatar..you are so funny..i guess I will have to learn gruntese..funny, I knew my husband so well, i could speak for him..i can't shoot my gun yet so you are doubly safe!

Nobody speaks today all they do is text?? I don't do that i still speak but i need someone that like to talk not just about themselves and love to talk about your fantasys!!

thank you so much for the input..part of a relationship should be communication. maybe i will have to settle for multi syllables! speak to me damn it...lol

are you a grunter too? oh nooo...at least I know the language..and i can figure the rest out..

bunnies don't grunt......there's a lot of nose twitching going on though