Rude astrology… I find this is sometimes the best way to really understand the signs
Aries:
You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You do nothing but piss off everyone you come into contact with. You’re a prick.
Taurus:
You are slow and methodical and stick to itbecause you do nothing right the first time. You criticise everything. You are nothing but a moneygrubbing glutton. But you dress well.
Gemini:
You are quickwittedYou are a liar and a thief. People like you because you’re bisexual. You’re the type who would kill themselves to win a bet
Cancer:
You are emotional and sensitive, which means you are a sucker. you always procrastinate and will never amount to anything. Everyone in prison is cancer.
Leo:
You are a born leader. Everyone thinks you’re an idiot. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leos like to play with themselves more than sex.
Virgo:
You are the logical and practical type. You are nitpicking, critical and boring. People like you because you’re bisexual. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.
Libra:
You are the romantic type and need to please everyone. Chances for monetary gain are nil. All Libras die of venereal disease.
Scorpio:
The worst of the lot! You are shit and cannot be trusted. You are the perfect son of a bitch. Most Scorpios are murderers.
Sagittarius:
You are the adventurous type, but most of them are drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarius.
Capricorn:
You are the quiet type, a mean son of a bitch.
Aquarius:
You are an alien, a weird motherfucker and a pervert. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnets.
Pisces:
You are a dreamer and often think you are followed by the FBI. Everywhere you go, laughter follows. This would be good if you were trying to be funny. You like to take it up the arse like a chook.
(I didn’t fully remember some of them, sorry)
You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You do nothing but piss off everyone you come into contact with. You’re a prick.
Taurus:
You are slow and methodical and stick to itbecause you do nothing right the first time. You criticise everything. You are nothing but a moneygrubbing glutton. But you dress well.
Gemini:
You are quickwittedYou are a liar and a thief. People like you because you’re bisexual. You’re the type who would kill themselves to win a bet
Cancer:
You are emotional and sensitive, which means you are a sucker. you always procrastinate and will never amount to anything. Everyone in prison is cancer.
Leo:
You are a born leader. Everyone thinks you’re an idiot. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leos like to play with themselves more than sex.
Virgo:
You are the logical and practical type. You are nitpicking, critical and boring. People like you because you’re bisexual. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.
Libra:
You are the romantic type and need to please everyone. Chances for monetary gain are nil. All Libras die of venereal disease.
Scorpio:
The worst of the lot! You are shit and cannot be trusted. You are the perfect son of a bitch. Most Scorpios are murderers.
Sagittarius:
You are the adventurous type, but most of them are drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarius.
Capricorn:
You are the quiet type, a mean son of a bitch.
Aquarius:
You are an alien, a weird motherfucker and a pervert. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnets.
Pisces:
You are a dreamer and often think you are followed by the FBI. Everywhere you go, laughter follows. This would be good if you were trying to be funny. You like to take it up the arse like a chook.
(I didn’t fully remember some of them, sorry)
46-50, M