You should draw this

Pain and stress gained from the human experience can fuel our creative spark and help us to do and create great art in all different types of mediums. I know I have learned to fine tune and channel that agnst, aggression, hurt into creativity. It isn't easy. And nothing that comes from it ever is worth all the pain and suffering we experience. I am sorry for your loss and sacrifice. Don't give up hope. Not on yourself. You might not return to normal, it may just have to be a new normal for awhile. Use the pain to help you grow to be stronger without being jaded.

I wish you could make some art and pour your thoughts into it.

I think in such circumstances you just have to make any art, even if it's uninspired or bad.

It ascends and descends. Sometimes there is a voice longing to be heard, other times no voice to be found. Squashed by pain and lulled to sleep, the mind becomes silent, lest it become overwhelmed and driven to madness.

We lie in slumber awaiting resurrection.

It's still in there. Just pick up the nearest pen or pencil and any piece of paper or envelope and just draw something that's in front of you. keep doing it and the dam will break...

Stop thinking. Start doing.

There is an irony to your post.