I'm over a decade into my life on the game, at time of writing this, and I know a lot of girls.
There's TWO things that us fellow prostitutes love to talk about when we get together. One being a 'Top Trumps' style thing - who's done the most punters, who's earned the most etc - and the other one is of swapping what we call 'War Stories' - anecdotes of our time involved in prostitution.
So...a bunch of funny, of painful or of just WTF anecdotes from both myself and fellow sisters...
First up, has to be the irrepressible Sammy Jo. 54, dare I say it, and over 40 years involved in the life. She's the big sister of one of my besties too. Some tales she's told me about, before I was even born, and some that I had witnessed.
Back in the early 80's, Samantha had just started out and had done one of her first BJ's. Wasn't expecting the force, or the quantity, and it came (no pun intended!) trickling out the corners of her mouth!
Her punter just laughed at her.
..........
Into the 90's. She was stopped by a transvestite who paid her to "..walk with me.", so she did, apparently, up and down her patch until she pulled.
Also in the 90's. She's just started her night when she was stopped by a punter that...ahem....wanted her to poo in a bag! He wanted to buy "...her shit" ! God only knows why. Her reply?
"Sorry, luv, I've just had a dump before coming out"
.............
Into the noughties now, and she is stopped by a punter in a car, wanting sex. Now, Sammy Jo is, like, 5'10"/5'11" barefoot, let alone in heels.
The punter's car? A Fiat 500!
She told him to fuck off! "There was no way I was gonna even fit in that thing!" she told me.
Also in the noughties, she was stopped by a woman in a car. This lesbian wanted her to pee in her mouth!
She declined!
.....................
In the teenies now - and she told me the following night out on the streets - that she was having sex with this man, the last punter of the evening, and was well into the session. Now, just before the...ahem...climax...of the session, the punter started with a calf spasm!
"...and so, as he was banging away at me he starts to have a spasm. He's still inside me and he's fidgeting about. I ask him what was up and he tells me that he's just got calf cramp! Bloody calf cramp! Heck of a way to finish up my night...."
........................
Onto my other bestie, Sarah. Similar age but she works in a brothel, mainly.
This was in the teenies too. She'd just been picked by this punter, young lad, and she'd led him upstairs to a room. He's undressed and ready. She takes out a rubber and puts it on him and then eases him inside her....
Where he cums immediately!
Poor boy! He's upset, so she rolls off the rubber and blows him for a little while..
............................
Me? I don't come out of this without my own stories either!
Into the noughties, I'm working for my previous Madame, and it's winter. She likes us all in heels, looking tarty and all that stuff. So I'm out, it's icy around and I'm awaiting for punters.
A car pulls up, so I do my strolling over seductively stuff..y'know...rolling those hips, cigarette on the go, looking hot....
Only....I come close....slip...fall forward.....and hit his wing mirror with my jaw! I break his mirror off (thankfully not breaking that glass!) and was lucky not to break my jaw!
The punter was not happy!
Suffice to say I never pulled him!
Again, in the noughties. I was blowing a punter down an alleyway and I had to sneeze! Not sure if it was the aftershave or whatever he put down there, but that's what happened.
Now, I don't know if anyone's gone through the motions of what happens when you do sneeze, but your eyes close and your mouth clamps...with or without teeth!
So...he screams!
"She's tried to bite my knob off! She's tried to bite my knob off!"
