A lot of people act like they don't like you because you don't give them the attention they want.
You can be perfectly nice to everyone and half of them will act like you're shit because you're not licking their balls.
hartfire · 61-69
Licking balls tires the tongue rather quickly.
I'm sure, somewhere, there'd be a machine that simulates it, sold in sex shops & very popular.
If not, the one who invents it will make millions.
My experience is that being unconditonally polite, warm and open (in real life) means one makes lots of acquaintances and occasionally a few precious long term friendships.
I live in a rural area, 5 mins drive from the nearest hamlet, and 30 from the nearest big town.
I find almost everyone in a rural community is friendly most of the time -
but friendliness and warm acquaintance are not the same as friendship.
I live with my husband of 43 years, no kids, and spend 90% of my time alone, working when well enough.
I'm moderately content with how things are -- but there are times when I wish I could work out how to meet and build 2 or 3 friendships with people who are seriously bright, maybe around IQ 127 or above, highly articulate, and widely interested in almost everything in the world.
Being open and warm does need to be balanced with clear & strong boundaries because some people don't recognise, understand or respect "no" - a peculiar kind of disability in my view.
I don't expect people to like me. I think that's a subtle thing that results not just from how we treat people, but also from the amount of time shared, whether we share common interests, values and beliefs; whether we have mutual tolerance of differences and desire to understand and accept them; whether we're good at being honest and reliable; and details that vary for every person.
Liking a person or being liked isn't necessarily mutual.
It can't be predicted, manipulated or forced -- and would be horrible if it could be.
Relationships of all kinds are a dynamic chemistry.
I'm sure, somewhere, there'd be a machine that simulates it, sold in sex shops & very popular.
If not, the one who invents it will make millions.
My experience is that being unconditonally polite, warm and open (in real life) means one makes lots of acquaintances and occasionally a few precious long term friendships.
I live in a rural area, 5 mins drive from the nearest hamlet, and 30 from the nearest big town.
I find almost everyone in a rural community is friendly most of the time -
but friendliness and warm acquaintance are not the same as friendship.
I live with my husband of 43 years, no kids, and spend 90% of my time alone, working when well enough.
I'm moderately content with how things are -- but there are times when I wish I could work out how to meet and build 2 or 3 friendships with people who are seriously bright, maybe around IQ 127 or above, highly articulate, and widely interested in almost everything in the world.
Being open and warm does need to be balanced with clear & strong boundaries because some people don't recognise, understand or respect "no" - a peculiar kind of disability in my view.
I don't expect people to like me. I think that's a subtle thing that results not just from how we treat people, but also from the amount of time shared, whether we share common interests, values and beliefs; whether we have mutual tolerance of differences and desire to understand and accept them; whether we're good at being honest and reliable; and details that vary for every person.
Liking a person or being liked isn't necessarily mutual.
It can't be predicted, manipulated or forced -- and would be horrible if it could be.
Relationships of all kinds are a dynamic chemistry.
Pinkstarburst · F
SW-User
@Pinkstarburst I fear that's the issue though... Is I did find my worth. Alone. And I do want to matter to someone. How do people expect me to not have family and friends? Why do I have to do/be everything alone?
I'm so tired of pushing people away because I know my worth. I don't want to be cold and bitter forever.
I'm so tired of pushing people away because I know my worth. I don't want to be cold and bitter forever.
Pinkstarburst · F
@SW-User You matter to your son. You matter to people here. And you matter to people you who will never tell you. So you’re not really alone but I know you are incredibly lonely. I understand that more than I care to admit.
The things you have accomplished by your own will are astounding to me and so familiar. We are the silent warriors. We bear our burden underneath our massive armor. But sometimes that armor breaks a bit from the battles we fight and we have the beautiful scars to show for it.
I say this with 100% certainty…you will not be cold and bitter forever. Someday, we will allow someone to remove the armor and they will cherish and worship our scars. And we won’t like it. That person will understand and will fight beside us, giving us strength and will heal every deep wound we have.
The things you have accomplished by your own will are astounding to me and so familiar. We are the silent warriors. We bear our burden underneath our massive armor. But sometimes that armor breaks a bit from the battles we fight and we have the beautiful scars to show for it.
I say this with 100% certainty…you will not be cold and bitter forever. Someday, we will allow someone to remove the armor and they will cherish and worship our scars. And we won’t like it. That person will understand and will fight beside us, giving us strength and will heal every deep wound we have.
SUPERVlXEN · F
SW-User
@SUPERVlXEN Classic! 😄
SUPERVlXEN · F
BobbyMoeven · 100+, M
