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Why does my uncle-in law sit at home reading Wikipedia while his wife has to work?

He's a stay-at-home dad by choice, not that he can't find work. This would be fine...except he doesn't do anything around the house. He doesn't wash the dishes, do the laundry, vacuum, heck, the man can't bother to walk into the backyard and water the plants for his wife.

He's got a banking degree, had worked in a bank for over a decade, and speaks 3 languages fluently. It's not like he has a hard time finding work. In fact, his wife's friends have recommended banking jobs for him on numerous occasions, to which he's completely ignored.

As he comes off as a well-spoken, intelligent man, I'm baffled as to why he refuses to get off Wikipedia and find work. Oh and not to mention, he lives less than 10 minutes driving distance away from a bank...in a big city full of jobs suitable for him. All the opportunities are there; why does he not work? Makes me kind of frustrated because his wife is my aunt and I sympathize for her trying to support her household (she, her husband, and her 8-year-old son) all by herself. Every day, people are making money while he sits at home reading a Wikipedia article about penguins, the Mediterranean sea, or whatever.
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
There could be a multitude of reasons for this. Maybe you should just casually ask him if he’s going back to work sometime. Maybe start telling him you’re interested in a career in banking and let it come up that way once the conversation gets rolling
He’s a jerk! Or maybe it’s something traumatic that he’s hiding.
Adstar · 56-60, M
He probably had a run in with a psycopath and had a mental breakdown.. Totally saps ones motivation to do anything.. High pressure job cn have that snap people..

Maybe He knows something bad is going to happen in the world financial system? It could be a number of things but something has damaged him..

Oh He must still have something to keep your Aunty holding on..
SW-User
That’s called in house dick .
Sharon · F
It's called role-reversal. A lot of "housewives" and "stay-at-home mums" (even those without children) do the same while their husbands out at work.
skylo · 22-25, M
@Sharon Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've always thought that stay-at-home mums actually do things that pertain to the house. In my uncle-in-law's case, he doesn't. His wife still has to drive their son to and fro school, buy groceries, and run errands. I guess that's what, in my opinion, distinguishes him from a regular stay-at-home parent.
Sharon · F
@skylo Most housewives and stay-at-home mums do but not all. I know some who just use the terms as an excuse to sit around watching TV. One "stay-at-home mum" I know of has two adult children who have left home. She excuses her use of the term by the fact that she is a mother and she stays at home.
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
@skylo agree. He’s should at the very least tidy up or have dinner made. If he can’t cook, he could do laundry
PhaqueYou · M
People are making money?

Cities full of jobs?!

Where is this paradise???
skylo · 22-25, M
@PhaqueYou I wouldn't call it "paradise," it's just like any other big city. Basically, my point is, he can be doing something more productive than spending his hours on Wikipedia.
SW-User
Well you can't do anything about it. Shea gonna have to. Maybe she is fine with it 🤷‍♀️
DownTheStreet · 56-60, M
Why does she let him?
skylo · 22-25, M
@DownTheStreet She says that she's done trying to talk him into working. Whenever she brings it up, he changes the subject.
DownTheStreet · 56-60, M
So, he’s just a … loser. @skylo
JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M
She should start making him pay his own way.
They can make their own choices.

 
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