Success raises standards and expectations, which is both a blessing and a curse.

Doing something better than we've ever done before is amazing, but there's no going back. Any lesser event afterwards isn't as satisfying as the best experience before, and that bar can only rise and never be lowered again.

I strongly feel this in every aspect of my life, but especially relating to romance, despite my only background there probably sounding like pretty nothing to others. The in-depth analysis of that would be too long to include here though and I need to put my thoughts on that together first.

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bookerdana · M

In any endeavor there will be setbacks along the way..why not say "I will do the best I can today".
Might relieve the pressure

HootyTheNightOwl

Potato is setting himself up for failure and misinterpreting success.

The objective isn't always to do better and better... sometimes, success is about doing it again. Let's say that you take a lady on a date - and she really enjoys herself.

You plan to take her out again... you're obviously not going to be looking at taking her to the Ritz for lunch because it's way out of your budget - so you'll be looking at something else that you can both enjoy doing together rather than measuring your success in terms of what you can do that is bigger and better than what you did before.

NerdyPotato ·

@HootyTheNightOwl true, I don't mean better is always the goal, but what used to be good becomes boring after you've experienced something much better. And in terms of dating I don't mean activities, but hardly any people measuring up to your best partner.

HootyTheNightOwl

@NerdyPotato That's why free upgrades on cruise ships are a bad idea - especially if you gave up an inside cabin for the balcony... it's hard to miss something that you never had.

I wouldn't know about the ideal partner because I never really put much effort into trying to work out what my ideals were in my own head.

Since I was raised to believe that I was never quite good enough, that followed me into my dating life - and I still struggle to see anything about myself as "good enough". I guess that I will always have to live with my mother's insecurities now.

NerdyPotato ·

@HootyTheNightOwl yeah, I'm not quite sure yet either, but the few likes I did discover are quite specific, which is especially complicated since my dislikes already narrow down my options by about 99%.

OogieBoogie · F

Be careful setting that bar.

Remember....life changes. It goes up , it comes down , it cycles around and around .

Ive lived with that bar being put rather high.
It was glorious.

Its also hard to reach all the time. ...to the point that if you dont - it makes you angry or depressed.
Anger and depression we can end up putting on others ....or ourselves .

Kinda like a drug high you keep aiming for .

And in truth, its very much the same thing - an endorphin high .

But with every high, you need to come down sometime.
Remember that ....its VERY important.

Life IS highs and lows, and normal parts in-between.

Please look after yourself 🤗

NerdyPotato ·

@OogieBoogie setting the bar isn't (only) a conscious thing though. When you reach a new high, it changes your perspective of everything else. You can still enjoy the "lesser" things too, but those aren't going to be as good as before.

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