TryhardDreamer

Short Version: Bienvenue, Power Bottoms! I watch the anime, I play the video games, I do the sports outside, and I have CRIPPLING self-doubt! Boy, that's a fun person to be around isn't it?


Long ass version:


Hey guys, I'm TryhardDreamer, and this is all you should know about me.

I love anime, and I tend to gravitate toward the shows that motivate me the most (this is important to know for said text mountain below). Naruto was amazing toward the start,the determination and self-improvement on display was so different from anything else I'd seen from a cartoon at that age that it just straight up blew me away. Dragon Ball Z and My Hero Academia hit in a similar way, both of them motivating me to better myself, but nothing has ever changed me quite like discovering Naruto. Also important to me is the series Gundam Seed, moreso due to the lessons taught than the quality of the story. The clarity of realizing the value of life, realizing that violence only brings more violence and sadness, learning that neither will nor strength alone are enough to see your dreams through, it all really struck a chord deep inside of me. Aside from those shows, I also love Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood, One Punch Man (season 1 at least), Inuyasha, and Fruits Basket among others.

I love spending time outside doing something fun (tennis, baseball, street hockey, whatever gets me moving without boring me), and I also do a good bit of kart racing whenever I get the chance. I do play a good amount of games, but I haven't touched many of the mainstream titles. Shooters are all well and good, but there's just SO GOD DAMN MANY. The modern gaming industry honestly is just depressing to me. And of course, I love the Sonic games that I am reasonably allowed to love. Not Sonic Forces, Sonic Boom, 2006, all that shit. Adventure 1 and 2, Sonic Mania, classic Genesis Sonic titles, now THAT'S nice. I used to be obsessed with "living like Sonic", and although that's passed, I think I had some good points. His self-confidence, how good he is at standing up for himself and changing the world for the better, how he otherwise lives a carefree life, it's all good stuff. Obviously though I'm not talking about the MOST modern version of Sonic, he's pretty much just a cocky asshole that tells awful jokes. Can we just pretend the Sonic from Sonic Colors onward never happened? Cool.

Anyway as far as my being here, I'm hoping more than anything else to just meet genuine people. Good people that I can be there for, people that will be there for me. Friends that support each other, motivate each other, look out for each other. The world needs more people like that.

I think that self-motivation isn't something that enough people emphasize in their own lives, but simultaneously I believe that without support, it isn't always enough. Life can be so crushing at times that it leaves even the most motivated feel helpless, and it's at those times that it's most important for friends to stand up and fight life together.

My issue is that I seem to rely almost entirely on self-motivation. I've always had issues with confidence, and for a long time my only defense to that was to be the person at my own side trying to fight back all my fears and self-doubt. Of course it isn't like I don't have friends or a good family, but none of them have what I need most. None of them know how to motivate me. I never feel someone pushing me from behind, telling me that I can do or be better. There have been plenty of times where I've been the pusher, where I've tried to be the hand on someone elses shoulder. But when it comes to the hurdles in my life, I feel too often that I tackle them alone.

I might just be a drama queen, it's hard to say. Right now I'm so unsure of myself that I don't trust myself to even make a judgement on that. And that's EXACTLY the problem.