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41-45, M
United States
2120 views
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The house by the lake
The giant octopus reached out from the sea onto the deck of the galleon, plucking the helpless seaman from his post. The lady of the ship, tho an unlucky omen on a sailing vessel, dove out, knife in teeth, to save him. She slashed to and fro, sever...
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GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
66 replies 71 views Nov 28, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
Those Hawngry Man dinners
Where the "fried" chicken is always soggy and the corn is mixed in with the brownie and the mashed potatoes. Mmm-mmm, yessir we love it!
GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
74 replies 42 views Nov 20, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
Grr I'm going to shoot that stupid moon...
I'm tired of it being brighter than I am
GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
3 replies 10 views Nov 19, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
You were adopted!
God it feels so good to finally say that!
GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
27 replies 31 views Nov 17, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
Hey Trumpsters!
What happen? What happen, you silly geese? Back the wrong horse? Muahahaha!! Down with tyrants!
GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
13 replies 25 views Nov 7, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
This pizza tastes like what I imagine burned dog hair to taste like
Another Domino's success
GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
95 replies 62 views Nov 6, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
Who is this strapping young fellow?
Hard to believe this pic is 25 years old. How time doth fly.
GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
6 replies 65 views Nov 6, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
I just washed my TV remote by accident
This is a sign from the universe that I should have slept in
GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
34 replies 42 views Nov 5, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
The Chest Hair Match
This is something I feel like professional wrestling has been missing. Here is how it would work. Two hairy chested, spandex wearing, sweaty men enter the ring and battle it out until one of them pins the other or a submission occurs. The winner t...
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GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
11 replies 31 views Oct 25, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
Everything must have a title...whyyyy?!!
The bars stand before me, so tall I cannot reach the top. I can only peer through them at a closed door in a darkened room. I reach out and take them in my hands, like a prisoner in a crime documentary. I am sad. Sad because I am alone. Perhaps ...
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GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
2 replies 12 views Oct 24, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
So I mailed in my vote...
Next thing I knew, this navy recruiter was at my door. I had to let him in. Can't say no to Uncle Sam. Nor can I willingly pay taxes to Uncle Sam, but that's another story and you better keep your goddamn mouth shut! Anyways, he sits on...
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GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
76 replies 96 views Oct 16, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
Hooray for phone updates!
Keeps an OG fresh and looking like new 😉. But enough about that, let me tell you about my dreams. I juuuust remembered them. I was working at my old job, a Greek kitchen. There were these worms in the cooler, skewered like a shish kabob. They ...
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GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
4 replies 10 views Oct 16, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
Back in the days of yore, when I was but a lad...
Ok! This is a true story, believe it or not. And uh...I have been known to lie...just not this time! I must have been about 10 years old at this time. I would stay with my grandmother during the summer. Me and my sister, who was about 7. Now ...
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GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
9 replies 30 views Oct 15, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
So this one time...
Me and William Shatner were at the local W&W. For those of you who do not know, that is a petrol station with a pool hall and a massive arcade in the back. I must have been 4. Mom and dad trusted Shatner, because they watched all his shows. S...
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GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
15 replies 26 views Oct 15, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
Ah, I remember the days...
Back when Pizza Hut was worth eating. Darth Vader and Obi Wan used to take me there every friday. The pizzas were amazing! And Obi Wan would play the arcade games with me while Darth Vader hit the salad bar. I'd sneak little pepperoni off hi...
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GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
6 replies 16 views Oct 15, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
It is pointless to make up my bed.
The cat is just going to piss on the sheets anyways. Might as well sleep on bare mattress. Little twat!
GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
32 replies 40 views Oct 11, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
This is now Star Wars canon
GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
12 replies 23 views Sep 6, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
This..........
This was like the first thing my gf said to me. I like cornbread. Well that's nice, dear. I like green beans. She liked green beans too. It was obviously meant to be. That's all we ate for 9 years. Cornbread, green beans and cookie d...
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GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
28 replies 56 views Aug 18, 2020
I Like Cornbread
The grand chase
As she cleared the doors leading from her gilded cage, she tossed a wink at her would-be successor who was making haste to follow. The feel of the stars on her hull felt so good she found her self momentarily forgetting the stakes at hand. Spreading ...
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GaiusJuliusCaesar
41-45, M
136 replies 110 views Aug 17, 2020
I Get To Push The Button
 
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