YES! As a neurodivergent it's exhausting watching people do this. Especially passive aggressive behavior. Everyone wants to declare themselves so "tough" and badass and so few can just straight up say what their problem really is when doing so would probably get to the bottom of the situation and see it resolved. These are people who are raising others to go out into the world and yet they themselves can't even say "I'm really upset about this, and this is why."
One of the hardest things for me was learning social etiquette and about boundaries and it was very frustrating and confusing when I realized the majority of people aren't really following any of it. 😞
@DancingStarGoddess One of the best things I learned in my life is to just say what is wrong without worrying about what the other person thinks or feels, not to hurt them, but to get to a solution. I will always preface these things with something to the affect of "I've got this problem and I need you to help and work with me to resolve it. I am feeling xyz because of this thing you do. I know it is a me reaction, but I need you to realize that it doesn't make me want to deal with you. How can we work together to make this no longer a problem?"
This has done so much for my mental health and strengthened relationships. There is no tip toeing around, there is no trying to find a way to not make someone else mad/hurt/upset/etc. It is literally just saying that I am having a problem and I would like for you to help me resolve it, if you are willing.
In that same vein, their behavior tends to let me know where they are as well. If they get upset or angry, then they are probably aware they are causing a problem and it really isn't worth working it out with them. They aren't going to want to. If they apologize and claim they want to change, then you can determine how honest they are based on their adherence to their desire to change. If they are hurt, they probably aren't at an emotional level to deal well in a relationship with me and we should probably part ways.
These things aren't that hard. We just tend to let our own egos get in the way and prevent us from using the most direct path.
@FoxyGoddess yes exactly! i worked very hard on my communication skills and getting to where i could just say " hey that makes me feel bad, this is why" and it's wild how many people act like that's so strange to do. it just seems easier to say what's up and get it settled than to act out, cause issues, do a whole bunch of song and dance and drag others in, when i could just go to the source.
