Captain

My kids are grown up and I'm now on a pension but I still want to work and I'm looking at teaching (physics) because I have A levels in maths and all science and a masters in sciences. Unfortunately we had kids late and things have just got worse and that's been a key factor, and wife can't stand me anymore and moans all the time plus we've had no 'relationship' for 20 years. I can't stand it anymore either having sacrificed my career progression for the sake of the stable upbringing of the children. I still have the energy and desire for another relationship. I took the decision to join dating apps where I seem to be very popular with 35-55 year old ladies so why not come on here and chat as well ? It makes me feel better anyway.

My view of what life is:-

I am a seeker. I have seen and felt so many things in my life that make no rational sense... and i don’t reject these experiences and try to rationalise them, and I have felt for along time that the arrow of time is somehow a floored idea. Pysicists have shown that falling down a gravitational well is actually increasing entropy. If the Wheeler postulate is right that the positron, and therefore all antimatter is just matter moving backwards through time, it would experience decreasing entropy even as our entropy rises. It would fall away form mass even as we fall toward it. Suddenly the filament and inflationary structure of the universe make complete sense. And God said I was there at our beginning and at your end and I know everything about your future and your past, And yet God says we have free will then somehow we don’t have to obey the laws of physics and can change the future and hence the past. Sounds crazy but I read that experiments with electronic shift registers have already shown that positrons indeed appear to travel backwards in time - though I haven’t seen the papers so would not be able to comment further. What I really like about the theory is it feels so right because it simplifies everything down to one simple wavefunction (Ok a complex wavefuntion of everything everywhere over all time so more complex than all at once) which just keeps changing. If we have free will there is a purpose for every one of us as part of Gods purpose - fmirroring the bible again - and that makes me feel good. Thats why Im interested. I have built things my whole life only to find them being knocked down again - that is the process of life. But this feels like a good idea. Our arrow of time is an illusion of the human condition.We are in very moment of our life forever even though we are not aware of it. Our role is to make the future better and to undo the errors of our past. How about that .