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CalmUnderThePalm

36-40, M

United States

Single

Straight

Private Chat, Flirt, Friends, Meet Women, Dating, Advice, Help, Support, Stories, Learning, Role Play

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4620 views · 60 followers · Joined: April 27, 2017 · Online: See Last Online »

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Apples and Oranges

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Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump. But I guess comparing apples and oranges is unfair.

Name something men do that women hate.

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I Have Something to Say

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Do not correct a fool, or he will hate you. Correct a wise man and he will appreciate you.

I Have Something to Say

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A LITTLE GUN HISTORY In 1929, the Soviet Union established gun control. From 1929 to 1953, about 20 million dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated. In 1911, Turkey established gun control. From 1915 to 1917, 1.5... See More »

Math is hard, 15 + 15 is thirty...

But 16 + 16 is thirty too.

What kind of car does a Jedi drive?

She said: It's the guys duty to pay the bill at the restaurant, that's why it's called MEN'U.

I said, nah, it's both our responsibility, that's why its called, ME'N'U

Not to brag, but my winter body is already on point and its not even November.

I finally did it! Bought a new pair of shoes with memory foam insoles.

No more forgetting why I walked into the kitchen.

Did you know that "Dammit I'm Mad" spelled backwards is "Dammit I'm Mad"

I helped my neighbor out with something this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you".

I couldn't believe it... You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return.

Respect people with glasses.

They paid money to see you.

I'm so close to become a billionaire!

I have all the zeros, now I need a one.

Drank so much tequila last night I woke up speaking ancient aztec.

The human body is 60% water so really we are just cucumber with anxiety.

I was googling about the best time to visit Japan.

It is when you have money.

Not sure if my sister knows any geography.

I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.

Now I have Heinzsight.

Just had a detective knock on my door saying he was looking for a man with one eye.

I told him if he used both he'd probably find him a lot quicker.

How do you wake up?

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I'm going to quit my job and travel the world until I run out of money.

I'll be home around 9 pm this evening.

This song is stuck in my head

I've been listening to Avril Lavigne's new song for a few days (that came out in May of this year,) It got stuck in my head.

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Fun fact: "sugar" is the only word in English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. At least I'm pretty sure that's correct.

I miss the old days

And I'm talking about the 90s and 2000s. Sigh.

I accidentally used dog shampoo today.

I'm feeling like such a good boy.

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