I Think Too Much and Do Too Little
What is the meaning of life? What are we all endlessly chasing after? What do we desire? And what in the end really matters?
I was listening to a song on the radio earlier today, don't remember the name but it had a line, "we ain't ever getting older". Which is a blantant lie. But it got me to thinking. We hear all the time about our elders regrets and how they don't want to grow older. We ourselves want to rush to young adult and then stay there. But we have no control over time.
What do we do with the time we do have there? I have spent so much time recently pursuing meaningless pleasures that leave me feeling emptying and useless. Leave me feeling like a failure. But every time I set out to do something hard, to struggle against the obstacle of myself I am met by the terrifying idea of the futility of everything.
Everything is meaningless and futile if we look to far and miss the important things.
I have come to the conclusion that the only thing that really matters in this world is relationships with other people. Selfish presuits can great temporary pleasure but leave me at least feeling empty.
So what really matters? How can I motivate myself to excel? How can I push myself to do things that I don't enjoy in the contrast with the shortness of life? How do I convince myself to waste the little time I have on things I don't like?
The first reason is strongest. That I am not doing it for me but to leave the world a better place. To provide back what I have been given by my family. To be able to provide for my future family and give them a life worth living. The second reason is more selfish, that I might live in more pleasure in the future. That is the pursuit of wealth which is attached to freedom to do what we really desire to do.
I was listening to a song on the radio earlier today, don't remember the name but it had a line, "we ain't ever getting older". Which is a blantant lie. But it got me to thinking. We hear all the time about our elders regrets and how they don't want to grow older. We ourselves want to rush to young adult and then stay there. But we have no control over time.
What do we do with the time we do have there? I have spent so much time recently pursuing meaningless pleasures that leave me feeling emptying and useless. Leave me feeling like a failure. But every time I set out to do something hard, to struggle against the obstacle of myself I am met by the terrifying idea of the futility of everything.
Everything is meaningless and futile if we look to far and miss the important things.
I have come to the conclusion that the only thing that really matters in this world is relationships with other people. Selfish presuits can great temporary pleasure but leave me at least feeling empty.
So what really matters? How can I motivate myself to excel? How can I push myself to do things that I don't enjoy in the contrast with the shortness of life? How do I convince myself to waste the little time I have on things I don't like?
The first reason is strongest. That I am not doing it for me but to leave the world a better place. To provide back what I have been given by my family. To be able to provide for my future family and give them a life worth living. The second reason is more selfish, that I might live in more pleasure in the future. That is the pursuit of wealth which is attached to freedom to do what we really desire to do.
