I Need To Let Go Of The Past
Turning These Chains Into Dust.... I have met so many awesome people in my life, and many not so awesome people as well. There have been people that i have loved deeply, and hated entierly. My memory and connection is more for the former than the latter. I make connections easily in life it seems, and while i think few people have ever really developed these connections with someone, i do and i make them easily for some reason, and i feel deeply despite not showing it. The people who have had an effect on my life, either through love or friendship or always there with me even though they are now gone for whatever reason, ussually the slow march of time that erodes all realtionships is the cause.
The ones that i have loved, it is worse with them. For i can't help but feel that for all those that were lost, i somehow owe it to them to remain partly with them, emotionally, not that i can't move on to other people but that they are always in the back of my mind and a reminder. They have become like chains to me now, they hold me back in sorrow as i think on all that was lost, i constantly look back and remain in the past and i cannot do that anymore.
i allowed myself to do so because i felt i owed it to them, however i am going to let go of my past, move on completely from them, not just physically and everything else, but spirtually as well, if one can understand that. to remove their lingering prescence from me as those lingering prescences are now merely shades of them and cause only pain and sorrow and their chains dig deep into me and bring me down. stopping me from reaching my goals, my dreams, my destiny, stopping me from living my life and i can't have that. no one will stop me from reaching my destiny and living my life.
i remain now here in this time and this momment, neither in the future or the past. but i wont look back at the past anymore. sure it will be there behind me, but i will not look at it and the chains that held me will become dust. i will move on and live my life and i will cut my connection to these people, it is for the best as they have long since done the same to me. now things will be better, now things will be as they should be. and i will take care of myself, as i should be doing.
i will focus more on myself and love myself in all the ways no one else can and i will create for myself in my heart, a true paradise.
The ones that i have loved, it is worse with them. For i can't help but feel that for all those that were lost, i somehow owe it to them to remain partly with them, emotionally, not that i can't move on to other people but that they are always in the back of my mind and a reminder. They have become like chains to me now, they hold me back in sorrow as i think on all that was lost, i constantly look back and remain in the past and i cannot do that anymore.
i allowed myself to do so because i felt i owed it to them, however i am going to let go of my past, move on completely from them, not just physically and everything else, but spirtually as well, if one can understand that. to remove their lingering prescence from me as those lingering prescences are now merely shades of them and cause only pain and sorrow and their chains dig deep into me and bring me down. stopping me from reaching my goals, my dreams, my destiny, stopping me from living my life and i can't have that. no one will stop me from reaching my destiny and living my life.
i remain now here in this time and this momment, neither in the future or the past. but i wont look back at the past anymore. sure it will be there behind me, but i will not look at it and the chains that held me will become dust. i will move on and live my life and i will cut my connection to these people, it is for the best as they have long since done the same to me. now things will be better, now things will be as they should be. and i will take care of myself, as i should be doing.
i will focus more on myself and love myself in all the ways no one else can and i will create for myself in my heart, a true paradise.
26-30, M
